So, Sucks, Blows and Swallows Walk into a Pittsburgh Arena...
Photo: Puck Daddy
Fucking Yinzers.
Things that are totally cool to do in Pittsburgh:
1) Make steel.
2) Sleep with your sister.
3) Bring these signs to Flyers-Penguins Game 1 in 2011:
Things that are not OK:
1) Washing oneself.
2) What these Flyers fans wore in Shittsburgh on Sunday.
That’s Kuchinka in the “CROSBY SUCKS” No. 87 Philadelphia Flyers jersey. Sean Reader fashions the “MALKIN BLOWS” No. 71 jersey, while Connor McGonigle is sporting the “NEAL SWALLOWS” No. 18 sweater.
According to Kuchinka, when they walked through the arena doors, a security guard asked where they were sitting. Before they made it up the escalator, they already had swarms of Penguins and Flyers fans snapping photos of their three-person sweater billboard.
Then four arena security guards approached them and said, according to Kuchinka: “Either you take them off or wear them inside out or you’re being tossed out of here. This isn’t Philly. We don’t allow those things.”
The trio turned them inside out, and went to their seats, with a security guard nearby, seemingly waiting for them to put the sweaters back on. “Some security guards laughed and apologized for us not being able to wear them,” said Kuchinka, “cause we had a lot of people who wanted to take photos with us.”
Sucks, blows and swallows, while perhaps indicating the nighttime activities of the Penguins’ three best players, are not, by themselves, dirty words. You can certainly make an argument for censoring these, but, really, how many young Penguins fans sitting in the second level of CONSOL haven’t heard and or seen worse from mommy and new daddy inside their trailer homes? Hell, I’d say sucks, blows and swallows come right after mamma, who’s my daddy and Lehmeeuuu in learning Yinzer lexicon. So did these guys really need to turn them inside-out?
I have no problem with these sweaters. This one, on the other hand…
… still not cool.
