Brian Roberts Explains Why Comcast is Just a Little Regional Company and Why Owning the World Would Be Good for Competition

Voila_Capture 2014-05-29_10-23-06_AM

Quiet down! Quiet down! Emperor Palpatine is now speaking!

In an exclusive interview with Comcast-NBC-owned CNBC, Comcast CEO Brian Roberts explained why you should not worry about his company taking over Time Warner and net neutrality being thrown out the window, and how Comcast aspires to be a national company.

Responding to a question about the proposed merger – but really a takeover – with Time Warner, Roberts explained that, duh, this doesn’t mean less competition in the cable-broadband market:

FIRST OF ALL, BOTH IN VIDEO AND IN BROADBAND WE DON’T COMPETE WITH TIME WARNER. WE HAVE TO START WITH THAT VERY FUNDAMENTAL POINT. THEY’RE IN NY. WE’RE IN PHILADELPHIA. THEY’RE IN L.A., WE’RE IN SAN FRANCISCO. YOU CAN’T BUY A COMCAST IN NEW YORK, CAN’T BUY A TIME WARNER IN PHILADELPHIA. SO THERE’S NO REDUCTION IN COMPETITION. IN BROADBAND OR IN TELEVISION. SECONDLY, YOU HAVE FEDERAL RULES AROUND THE BUSINESS IN BROADBAND AND WE’RE GOING THROUGH THE OPEN INTERNET QUESTION. WE SUPPORT AN OPEN INTERNET AND HAVING RULES THAT THE RIGHT KIND OF RULES THAT ARE LEGALLY ENFORCEABLE AND ALLOW FOR INVESTMENT AND INNOVATION BUT ALSO GIVE CONSUMERS GREAT CONFIDENCE THEY CAN DO WHAT THEY WANT TO DO AND NEVER GOING TO BE SLOWED DOWN, NEVER GOING TO BE BLOCKED.

Allow me to translate that sans ALL CAPS: We don’t compete head-to-head with Time Warner in certain markets! So this has absolutely no impact on competition in the marketplace… until you consider the fact that the proposed merger would put us in every major US market – New York, LA, Chicago, Philadelphia, Dallas, Miami, I can keep going – and, combined with us owning NBC Universal, which has an interest in roughly 40% (just an estimate) of the video content you consume, and net neutrality laws disappearing, give us unprecedented negotiating leverage with other content providers if they want their stuff to ever see the light of day in, you know, the biggest cities in America.

On net neutrality (just a small snippet)

WE SUPPORT AN OPEN INTERNET AND HAVING RULES THAT THE RIGHT KIND OF RULES THAT ARE LEGALLY ENFORCEABLE AND ALLOW FOR INVESTMENT AND INNOVATION BUT ALSO GIVE CONSUMERS GREAT CONFIDENCE THEY CAN DO WHAT THEY WANT TO DO AND NEVER GOING TO BE SLOWED DOWN, NEVER GOING TO BE BLOCKED.

Translation: As long as the new rules that are put in place allow us to charge more for speedy broadband connections to the most popular content, then we won’t slow down or block those services. Otherwise, we will screw our customers until they can’t see anymore.

On being a small, regional company with a fighting spirit:

[THE TIME WARNER DEAL] WAS CAN WE GO FROM BEING A REGIONAL COMPANY WHICH IS WHAT COMCAST IS, MY DAD STARTED COMCAST 50 YEARS AGO, THERE WERE 30,000 COMMUNITIES, EACH COMMUNITY GOT A CABLE LICENSE. NO BUSINESS BEFORE OR SINCE HAS BEEN STARTED THAT WAY THE GEOGRAPHY TODAY IS THE CLOUD. YOU CLICK AMAZON GO ANYWHERE, GO TO GOOGLE GO ANYWHERE. YOU GO TO, YOU KNOW, FACEBOOK ALL OVER THE WORLD AND HERE WE’RE NOT IN NEW YORK AND NOT IN LOS ANGELES. WE TOOK A LOOK AT THIS SITUATION AND SAID, BECOMING MORE OF A NATIONAL COMPANY WAS A GREAT ONCE-IN-A-LIFETIME OPPORTUNITY WITH TIME WARNER FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER PUTTING THOSE MARKETS FOR SALE…

Translation: My Dad started this company out of his garage and it has grown to include 30% of the cable market and one of if not the largest mass media companies in the world we just want to take it to the next level by doing business all across this great country. It’s the American dream. Now if you’ll excuse me, I am worth just over $1 billion and have to head to dinner on Martha’s Vineyard with the Obamas.

Cordsnipped_cov

On a related note: Here’s our most recent Cord Snipped podcast, in which Dan and I discuss the latest on net neutrality, why you’ll eventually pay more to broadband providers regardless of whether you cut the cord or not, AT&T’s merger with DirecTV, the problem with the WWE Network, and Apple’s acquisition of Beats. Listen here.

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17 Comments

  • Bee May 29, 2014 at 10:32 am

    he looks evil

    Reply
  • Your Mother May 29, 2014 at 10:34 am

    Give it a fucking rest already. Anyone so obsessed with the K_C shit that they must comment on it daily needs their fucking head checked! Seriously it’s time to rethink your purpose and goals in life. Like NOW. Do it, go now.

    -Your Mother

    Reply
    • Calling Bullshit May 29, 2014 at 10:36 am

      You already posted this…..and no one gave a fuck about it then, either.

      Reply
      • Mr. Ed Snider's Taint May 29, 2014 at 10:44 am

        I’m thinking this “your mother” dude is one of those pathetic guys on twitter telling k…c how hot she is when a selfie tweet goes out.
        Possibly even tweeting her marry me k…c

        Reply
    • Your Mother May 29, 2014 at 1:04 pm

      Whomever keeps hijacking my screen name better stop it. I will hunt you down. I will cut off your cock and feed it to my dog while you watch. That is all.

      Reply
  • JP May 29, 2014 at 10:41 am

    Roberts master plan includes growing the demonic slum of Xfinity Live until it covers the entire city of Philadelphia at which point the city will be renamed Comcastadelphia.

    Reply
  • Scott May 29, 2014 at 10:42 am

    CNBC a NBC/Comcast company. I’m sure he’ll get some tough questions from those people. Considering he signs all their checks.

    Reply
  • Sean Brace May 29, 2014 at 10:44 am

    Man I get killed on this site…..But at the end of the day, I’m on the radio and ur not.

    Haters all over this city.

    Reply
  • SH May 29, 2014 at 10:59 am

    I wonder if FOX paid Kyle to write this post. This is some scary shit though.

    Reply
  • Fuck these Rich Bastards May 29, 2014 at 11:06 am

    WE SUPPORT AN OPEN INTERNET AND HAVING RULES THAT THE RIGHT KIND OF RULES THAT ARE LEGALLY ENFORCEABLE AND ALLOW FOR INVESTMENT AND INNOVATION BUT ALSO GIVE CONSUMERS GREAT CONFIDENCE THEY CAN DO WHAT THEY WANT TO DO AND NEVER GOING TO BE SLOWED DOWN, NEVER GOING TO BE BLOCKED

    What a bunch of nonsense. So they wont censor the internet like China? Great, we didn’t expect America to do that anyway. What I am concerned about is paying 119.99 a month for a fucking internet connection that I have been getting for 35 bucks a month. “Allow for investment” AKA allow rich people to get richer and the consumer to get ass rammed and have legal grounds to do so.

    Hey! If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I’d like Brian Roberts, CEO of Comcast, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where’s the Tylenol?

    Reply
    • Kyle Scott May 29, 2014 at 11:28 am

      ^ Nice.

      Reply
      • Babs Walters May 29, 2014 at 2:52 pm

        Kyle why are you reading comments? I thought you barely ever did that?

        Reply
    • Net neutrality's broken corpse May 29, 2014 at 11:30 am

      +1

      Truth. All truth. I love how he insists that they don’t compete with Time Warner implying that this merger doesn’t come closer to creating a monopoly for Comcast. They don’t compete with anyone because the telecoms robber-barons long ago agreed to not to fuck with each other’s regions so there is no competition for any of them. Now Comcast is just consolidating that power in a national media conglomerate. That up there is the face of our new corporate master. All hail Hyperlord Roberts, RULER of all media!

      Reply
  • DAGOY May 29, 2014 at 12:21 pm

    Typical juice behavior.

    Reply
  • Senior Citizens Bank Park May 29, 2014 at 3:29 pm

    Another story of the dad building the business for sonny to run. Like Lurie and the rich aunt. Hey Brian, if people could pick and choose what channels they wanted at a fair price per, you would be out of business as the Phillies contract would implode with thousands dropping CSN like the attendance at the ballpark. But it was coincidence that the Oliver Hardy to your Stan Laurel (David Cohen) hosted an Obama fundraiser two years back to assure no ala carte legislation.

    Reply
  • AL Tru May 29, 2014 at 5:11 pm

    China stops their Internet with a “kill switch” anytime they want.

    then again, a well aimed detonated EMP weapon over any city ?

    NO ELECTRONICS OR WIRE COAT HANGERS EVER

    Reply
  • RICHARD WOOD November 22, 2014 at 11:15 am

    BRIAN L. ROBERTS IS A STINKING SACK OF S H I T . MY MOTHER IS 88 YEARS OLD, AND HAS NEVER MISSED A PAYMENT FOR COMCAST IN OVER 22 YEARS. . SHE HAS WRITTEN A LETTER TO CEO ROBERTS, BECAUSE THE COMCAST PEOPLE IN FAIRFIELD CA. KEEP RAISING HER BILL EVERY MONTH, EVEN AFTER MAKING AN AGREEMENT FOR 12 MONTHS. NO RESPONSE FROM THE SHITTER. YOU DAMN BILLIIONAIRE CORPORATIONS ARE GOING DOWN SOONER OR LATER, JUST LIKE STANDARD OIL DID IN THE EARLY 1900’S. F U C K Y O U !!!!!!!!!!!! SIGNED- R I C H A R D W O O D ! I AM CONTACTING THE FCC, AND CA. DEPT. OF CONSUMER AFFAIRS … EAT SHIT BILLIONAIRE CEO .

    Reply
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