Adorable Two-Hour-Old Baby Wants Ruben Amaro Fired

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He’s seen enough.

Oddly, a few years ago, right after the Phillies traded for Hunter Pence, reader Luke sent me a picture of him and his newborn son, L.J., who had shat himself out of sheer joy when Pence went yard for the first time as a Phillie. L.J. had been born into a world where Ruben Amaro was king. Those were good times. Now, three years later, Rube is little more than a jester, and babies enter the world during a time of great turmoil. Of course, their reaction is still to just shit their pants.

Bob says that this is his second kid. His first was given a Fire Andy sign. Let’s make it 2-for-2, Bobo.


13 Responses

  1. That baby looks toolsy. We like him, real high ceiling kid. Please have him report to Clearwater, and if all goes well expect to see him called up around his 26th birthday, ala Darin “I Forgot Baseball Fields Have Walls” Ruf, when I will personally award him a 16 year deal with full no-trade.

  2. You know what this baby has in common with all of the recent handle stealers????

    They all drool and shit themselves.

  3. Kyle – are you ever going to fix the new format so words stop getting cut off in your thread titles? This looks like shit and it’s hard to read. Baby W? Ants Ruben Amaro fired? For christ’s sake man!!

  4. When are you and Jim planning on adopting? I hear Princess Sasss is interested in being the surrogate.

  5. Are the owners of the Phillies actually going to let Rube “manage” the trade deadline this year? If they do, that’d be a fucking travesty. They are a Tampa Bay winning streak away from worst team in the majors… and if Amaro trades Utley you know we’re getting jack shit back.

  6. My girlfriend told me that she wanted to try something new. I agreed without giving any additional thought to what “new” meant. It turns out she wants to stick cauliflower up my rectum while I’m banging her. I don’t know if I should agree now or break up with her because I’m worried I’ll never find anyone as hot as she is. Can you guys help me out?

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