Adorable Two-Hour-Old Baby Wants Ruben Amaro Fired

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He’s seen enough.

Oddly, a few years ago, right after the Phillies traded for Hunter Pence, reader Luke sent me a picture of him and his newborn son, L.J., who had shat himself out of sheer joy when Pence went yard for the first time as a Phillie. L.J. had been born into a world where Ruben Amaro was king. Those were good times. Now, three years later, Rube is little more than a jester, and babies enter the world during a time of great turmoil. Of course, their reaction is still to just shit their pants.

Bob says that this is his second kid. His first was given a Fire Andy sign. Let’s make it 2-for-2, Bobo.

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  • R. Amaro June 10, 2014 at 3:23 pm

    That baby looks toolsy. We like him, real high ceiling kid. Please have him report to Clearwater, and if all goes well expect to see him called up around his 26th birthday, ala Darin “I Forgot Baseball Fields Have Walls” Ruf, when I will personally award him a 16 year deal with full no-trade.

  • Tools June 10, 2014 at 3:25 pm

    You know what this baby has in common with all of the recent handle stealers????

    They all drool and shit themselves.

    • Tool June 10, 2014 at 3:41 pm

      ^^^^ what he said

  • Title Police June 10, 2014 at 3:26 pm

    Kyle – are you ever going to fix the new format so words stop getting cut off in your thread titles? This looks like shit and it’s hard to read. Baby W? Ants Ruben Amaro fired? For christ’s sake man!!

    • Kyle Scott June 10, 2014 at 3:53 pm

      Refresh your browser. It’s fixed.

  • Mike Tyson June 10, 2014 at 3:37 pm

    I eat children.

  • redrum June 10, 2014 at 3:38 pm

    When are you and Jim planning on adopting? I hear Princess Sasss is interested in being the surrogate.

  • Dimitry June 10, 2014 at 3:38 pm

    I fingered my butthole.

  • Seriously, Though June 10, 2014 at 3:39 pm

    Are the owners of the Phillies actually going to let Rube “manage” the trade deadline this year? If they do, that’d be a fucking travesty. They are a Tampa Bay winning streak away from worst team in the majors… and if Amaro trades Utley you know we’re getting jack shit back.

  • Question June 10, 2014 at 3:40 pm

    My girlfriend told me that she wanted to try something new. I agreed without giving any additional thought to what “new” meant. It turns out she wants to stick cauliflower up my rectum while I’m banging her. I don’t know if I should agree now or break up with her because I’m worried I’ll never find anyone as hot as she is. Can you guys help me out?

    • Crossing Broad Writers (all 2 of them) June 10, 2014 at 4:14 pm

      What’s a girlfriend????

  • Candy from the Oak June 10, 2014 at 3:46 pm

    Bet his chicks pussy is on fire. Any pics??

  • Took a wrong turn and ended up on Facebook June 10, 2014 at 4:27 pm

    Don’t forget to like this pic on Facebook

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