The Phantoms Have Yet Another Mascot That’s NOT A PHANTOM

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The now-Lehigh Valley Phantoms have yet another new mascot, this one created by Emperor of Fun and Games Dave Raymond*, the former best friend of the Phanatic.

When the Phantoms moved to Adirondack, they created Dax, named after that guy from TMZ, whose birth was covered here with much snark. He of course replaced Phlex, who was, in case you never noticed, ACTUALLY A PHANTOM. And now we have Melvin.

Look, Melvin here, who’s named after a massive cameltoe, is great, and I truly dig the introduction video** (it’s… cute), but it bothers me when teams with characters in their names divert and go totally off-base with their mascot. Phlex worked, however frightening he was, because he was indeed a phantom. Grooved it down the middle, knocked it out of the park. But what’s the obsession with furry things? It’s the new millennium, haven’t they heard Melvins aren’t supposed to be like that anymore? You’re overthinking this, Flyers minor league affiliate. This one is so easy. Opportunity, missed. Unless… this is misdirection and Phlex will actually be lurking beneath the stands, playing his music of the night on the house organ during stoppages, channeling his true (friendly) PHANTOM spirit.*** In which case: well done, guys.

*Goofy hair. Tail. No pants. It’s no surprise that he takes strong cues from the Phanatic.

**Jim Brooks’ part at 1:15 is painfully awkward and more than a little creepy. It’s almost as if he said, “Hey, I’m the owner and we’re going to show my face, dammit!”

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via Broad Street Hockey


9 Responses

  1. That’s why I listen to Matt Lombardo & Joe Staszak in the evening on 97.5 the fanatic.

  2. Why would you listen to the frauds on Espn radio and support a national franchise that doesn’t even care for Philly sports.

    Id rather listen to innes than read kyles copy and pasted shit ass stories

    1. 97.5 is not espn radio dumbass,it’s owned by greater media.

      And if you took the time to get your head out of Josh Innes’ ass you moron,you would know that it’s the out of town lowlifes that infest WIP who are the ones who don’t give a damn about the Philadelphia fanbase.

      At least 97.5 gives local guys a shot of having their own show,and for the most part the hosts on the fanatic are from here,unlike WIP.

      But keep drinking the wip kool-aid,while their station continues to fill up with outsiders,who haven’t been here long enough to drink a cup of coffee,nor the knowledge to enlighten us Philadelphia fans on our teams.

      1. You sound personally offended and know a lot about 97.5, do you work for them or just blow them

  3. It is an affiliate of Espn you ass clown that’s why they broadcast Espn shown events and also why mike & mike are on in the morning.

  4. Tony Bruno to Join 95.7 The Game in San Francisco

    -Looks like our old pal Tony Bruno has landed himself a new gig, but not anywhere near his hometown of Philadelphia. Tony Bruno will be back on the airwaves in San Francisco on 95.7 The Game. No details yet on timeslot or co-host partners but rest assured his annoying soundboard will be back in action. He’s all yours Bay Area, bum bump de bump…

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