Prior to July 4th weekend, here is what a list of bad things that happened to John Bolaris involving a cab would look like:
- Totally didn’t get a cab that one time even though the cabbie totally saw him and flashed his lights and everything.
- That time some Eastern European women told him to “Do Shot” and he got roofied and then he woke up in a taxi with a very expensive painting he apparently bought.
- The very next day when he ended up in a cab with the same women and they drugged him again and ran up a $43,000 bill on his credit card.
Overall, not a great track record. But now I’m starting to think the next time Bolaris sees a cab he should just run the other way, because he got punched and tazed by a cabbie in the Hamptons.
According to Philly Mag: On July 5, Bolaris was leaving a Hamptons restaurant with his fiancee just before midnight. They hailed a cab, but their spots were supplanted by a more zealous and eager cab-going group. The driver told them he was taking the larger group. “Some yelling ensued.”
Walk away, John. Remember “Do Shot”? REMEMBER? These cabs are no good, just get yourself out of there. Call a goddamned Uber (using promo code CROSSINGBROAD for $20 off your first ride!) if you have to. But no:
“I said, ‘We hailed you down,'” Bolaris recounted on Thursday evening from, naturally, a cab in the Hamptons.
WHAT? Get out of there! Something else terrible is about to happen to John Bolaris. Alert the authorities.
“Then I said, ‘Listen, just take all of us.’ And he said, ‘No, get away from my cab.’ I said, ‘This is B.S.’ And then I turned my head. And he ran around the cab and punched me in the face.”
After that, says Bolaris, the driver pulled out a stun gun and used it on him.
“I got a burn on my chest,” he says. “I didn’t even see it coming.”
The driver was arrested and charged with assault, criminal possession of a dangerous weapon, and physical harassment. He is claiming self-defense, and after Googling Bolaris, will likely say John told him “If you don’t let me in this cab, the storm of the century is coming for your ass.”