Crazy-Ass Penn Students Named Biggest Partiers in All the Land

Those crazy, serial-shittin‘, bar-genital-flashin‘, sex-lovin‘ Penn students have yet another reason to… do all of the afeormentioned things. Playboy named their school the top party school IN THE COUNTRY. Molly Eichel of

Playboy has released their ultra scientific list of the top party schools in the nature and the University of Pennsylvania takes the number one spot. This year is the first time Penn has even appeared on the list.

1. University of Pennsylvania
2. University of Wisconsin
3. West Virginia University
4. University of Arizona
5. University of Iowa
6. University of California, Santa Cruz
7. University of Miami
8. Colorado State University
9. University of Texas
10. Syracuse University

I told you about Penn students. Crazy MF-ers. The general rule of thumb is, the higher your IQ, the more likely you are to be a crazy-ass destructive partier. Ever hang out with Ivy League med students? Their rage partying is only surpassed by the stories they tell about being hungover in the ER. Never get an early-morning surgery at a university hospital, because chances are the resident monitoring your vitals was blowing out a birthday candle in a hooker’s ass just four hours before recommending that extra dose of Propofol.

Anyway, I feel like Playboy named us [blank] is lore at every school, but rarely true. When I was at Villanova, we supposedly had the second-hottest girls of any school in the land… but a quick walk over to the engineering building was all it took to self-debunk that myth. Anyway, Penn’s honor is a real one. Here’s to the crazy ones.


12 Responses

  1. Yeah. Bunch of pampered fucks who think that a night that consists of a Bobby Flay burger for dinner, then sipping chardonnay at New World Cafe Live; followed by a beating by a flash mob of West Phila kids because they were stupid enough to venture 10 yards off campus consists of a raging party night. Fuck Off.

  2. Chances are this is a terrible typo that meant to name Penn State #1 – the sentence prior mentioned this was the list of “top party schools in the nature.” That about throws any clout this article had out the window.

  3. I cant really vouch for Penn as a party school but I did see an extremely hot piece’ of ass in a drunken stupor squat down on the corner of 34th + Sansom and piss on some russian sage This was in broad day light , St Patricks Day.. This bitch had a rack on her too. Think Sheena Parveen cup size with Cecily Tynans firmness. Nice.

  4. The female engineers can’t get on the level of Nova nursing / Marketing majors but didn’t think they were hideous either.

  5. Always leave a drag and never tie it to the front. Supposedly toms out today so we’re outta here at 2:30. Did you pack? Wait in the truck. Look out for parking maids. Listen for me tapping.

  6. Did ya hear what Obama is doing now. He wants everyone to live in FEMA trailers. And they’re letting the Russians patrol out city streets . The people have to wake up. (Point grunt) let’s tone these out

  7. You know who can party at penn? Those junkies at the methadone clinic. Dude they’re wrecked on smack and then they get free methadone at the clinic. On they’re way to wawa as they push their baby carts they argue and fight about who gets what pills and do they have money for newport 100s. “I thought you had the septa tokens to get back to upper Darby?” Love the tattoos too. I’ll tell ya what a great aspect of our society. Real contributors.

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