Former Penguins Cheap Shot Artist James Neal Says the Flyers Are Soooo Far Inside the Penguins’ Heads

Neal

James Neal, whom you may remember as the guy who almost ended the life of young wolf Sean Couturier, was in shock this summer when the Penguins traded him to the Predators (the Pittsburgh-to-Nashville career arc is not one any human should be subjected to). He recounted the surprise to Josh Yohe of the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review this week, and in doing so told Yohe that the 2012 playoff series with the Flyers basically destroyed the Penguins organization. This excerpt is delicious [I have bolded the parts that excite me greatly]:

Although Neal doesn’t have answers for the Penguins’ playoff flameouts, he believes the team’s course was altered permanently after falling to the Flyers in 2012.

“Why we struggled in the playoffs is still a tough question to answer,” Neal said. “I don’t think anyone really can.”

Without prompting, the Flyers entered Neal’s mind.

“I didn’t watch the game (on Wednesday),” Neal said. “But I guess they lost again to the Flyers, eh? It’s the same thing that went on when I was there. What the Flyers do to the Penguins … I don’t know why things didn’t go the way they should have gone in the playoffs. I don’t know why everyone got so rattled. But it’s not my problem anymore.”

The Flyers are so far inside the Penguins’ heads that it’s almost become a joke. You know that stomach-churning, suddenly-self-aware feeling you get when you run across an ex years later, because even though you’ve totally moved on, the resentment is still there? You feel that puffing up your chest (guy) or pushing out your chest (girl) will suddenly make them envious of your recent success and happiness, but all it really does is make you seem more awkward and pathetic than they already thought you were? Well, that’s the Penguins when the Flyers come to town. They’ve been so wronged over the years that they can’t help but be a bumbling mess at the mere site of G or Coots. They may have moved on to bigger and better things, but the Orange and Black will always be their kryptonite. Neal left town, and he still can’t shake them from his memories.

Barely related:


via (@collinmehalick)

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12 Responses

  1. You forgot to copy and paste the part where he says, “the Flyers are soooo far inside the Penguins’ heads”…unless I missed that part?

  2. The embellishment by Giroux in that gif makes him look like a WWE wrestler who just received a stone cold stunner.

  3. This bumbled trainwreck of an analogy about the ex-girlfriend reminds me of when you are a kid and you are trying to open your Capri Sun at lunch in 2nd grade. But then you can’t get the straw in. So the point on the straw becomes more and more dull and bent. So then you just try to jam the straw in as hard as you can and the straw just bends. And then you have to ask Mrs. Homer, the lunch lady, for help with your Capri Sun. And her teeth are all yellow. And she has to borrow a straw from a regular juicebox . With the bendy in it. So your straw doesn’t reach the bottom of the Capri Sun. And you end up spilling half of it on your shirt. And you have a stain on your shirt the rest of the day.

    1. HAHAHA!

      Totally correct there, Roobie. Couldn’t have said it better myself. Took the words right out of my mouth. Little Ant had that happen to him just the other day. We were eating a Primos ® hoagie. We had a Tuna Diablo ® to share. But yea, those Capri Suns are so hard to open.

    2. This bumbled trainwreck of an analogy about the Capri Sun at lunch in 2nd grade reminds me of when you are trying to change your oil but the nut is stripped on your oil pan. You bumble around with a wrench making it worse for about 10 mins slipping and cursing, jamming your hand until you get up and look for the right socket wrench. Then you proceed to spend the next 15 min bumbling around with sockets that don’t fit until you get the one perfect and you accidentally tighten it more than it should. Finally get a great grip and you pull and then it goes and comes flying off. And you end up spilling half of it on your shirt. And you have a stain on your shirt the rest of the day.

      1. Hey Rob and Ant. Great show. I really enjoy it. It makes my ride home so much better. I got 9 points to make. I called in last week and talked about Hunter Pence. I don’t know if you remember that. I said that if the Phillies had held onto Hunter Pence, he would still be playing right field for the Phillies. And Marlon Byrd would not be playing right field. And then I said that if the Phillies didn’t have Ryan Howard, they would have somebody else play first base. I don’t know if you remember that.

        But you story about the Capri Sun and oil pans reminds me of the old Spectrum seats. They were made out of that stuff. If you wore shorts and you were sweaty, your legs would get stuck. I’ll hang up and listen for your answer.

  4. Hyperbole…. Had you at some point finally admitted that the Flyers won the Carter/Richard deals, a slam dunk win btw, I could take a positive post about the Flyers coming from you seriously. Your attack on Brayden Schenn, who is generating positive chances and great possession stats playing out of position, the other day and your refusal to acknowledge how well coots is playing exposes you for what you are. A pussy stuck in 2010 who still has 0 hockey chops.

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