Quick Post-Game Thoughts

Photoshop adaptation via reader Joe
Photoshop adaptation via reader Joe

The Texas Massacre.

Please excuse any typos, because I’m conflicted and scared right now. No idea how to feel. The Eagles won and, with the hilarious Cowboys losing again, are now in sole possession of first place. They’re 6-2, Jeremy Maclin looks great, the running game had its best game of the year, Jason Kelce is healthy and Evan Mathis will be back soon. But. But Nick Foles may have a broken collarbone (as of writing), DeMeco Ryans is done for the year, and I’m scaring myself because I’m slowly starting to feel OK with Mark Sanchez as the starting quarterback of the Philadelphia Eagles.

 

THE SANCHIZE

You know when you invite a fringe friend along with a group as a courtesy, but deep down inside you’re wishing they turn you down because, you know, lately they’ve been making things kind of awkward? You feel bad, because you like them, but you’re starting to realize why they’re always free on Saturday nights? That’s how I’m feeling about Foles and his injury. I’m sort of kind of maybe just a little bit glad that Sanchez is going to be the guy. It’s like seeing a picture of your cousin on Facebook and thinking they look hot. It’s gross, but you can totally talk yourself into it. That’s where I’m at right now. Sanchez looked good. He’s slightly more mobile than Foles. He’s more poised. He impressed in training camp and during the preseason. I know, I know– I hate me, too. But I’m thinking maybe Chip feels the same way at the moment. At the very least, Sanchez is good enough to get a team to a conference championship game (he did it twice with THE JETS!). With Chip, he could be a Pro Bowl quarterback lying in wait. Who knows?! All we do know is that Bro Mark Sanchez has put down the chicken nuggets and grabbed the shield. I’m voting for Pedro. We have to vote for Pedro! He’s our only chance. SANCHEZ 4 LIFE!!!!

BRB, gonna go vomit.

 

Big Balls

Second week in a row a game came down to a weird first down attempt near the goal line. Totally the right call to go for it on fourth down. Chip would’ve been crucified if he kicked the field goal, went up by six, and the Texans went down and scored to win by one. The benefits (putting the game away) far outweighed the risk (giving the Texans the ball on the three). The bigger balls came on that BOMB to Maclin on Sanchez’s first play. It looked to be the same route Maclin ran last week on his deep touchdown. Chip broke that play down on the Kellystrator this week [really good video]. Interestingly, the QB is basically told to throw it between the uprights and let Maclin go get it. Defenses are gonna start picking up on this one.

 

Josh Huff

Dude, bro, cous, my man, you have skillz, but please, please, please stop making costly turnovers. And stay off Twitter until you go a week without being a turnover conduit.

 

Howard Eskin

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Couldn’t get a better screenshot, but Eskin looked like a complete douche cheering and pointing (to seemingly no one) after Sanchez’s first touchdown pass. I have no problem with cheering (he’s working for the team broadcast), but he plays the arrogant “impartial” card to a fault and then can’t see his own ridiculousness when his lips are firmly planted on the cheeks of everyone in the Eagles organization. You can’t have it both ways. He wants so bad to be cool on that sideline. I think he’s already on his third color of Beats headphones this season. Can’t wait for the Christmas Product REDs next month. Tool bag.

 

Musafa

This hurt. DeMeco Ryans goes unnoticed because he’s so damn solid, but by all accounts, he’s a steadying figure on the defense and more important than us outsiders realize. The Foles injury can be overcome (it may even prove to be a blessing), but losing Ryans could prove to be the most costly injury of the season.

 

EXSPROLSIONS™

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Little mini EXSPROLSIONS all over the field today. They’re so cute and adorable, you just want to naw and pounce on them like a little dog humping its toy into submission. Also, giving reader Dave the ™ on Sproling Ball. I like that.

 

The Yellow Light

When we had Chip Kelly expert and author Mark Saltveit on the podcast a couple of weeks ago, he explained that when the Eagles are doing that seemingly disorganized get to the line, look to the sideline, get the sign, switch the play thing, it’s actually very intentional. Kelly, Saltveit said, has three speeds: green light, yellow light and red light. Usually the Eagles are in green light (GO, GO, GO). When they have more time (and a late lead), they’re in yellow light. That’s when they rush to the line like normal, looking for a mismatch, and if they can’t find it, they pause, look to sideline, change the play and chew up clock. It’s controlled chaos, which just happens to be the title of Saltveit’s next book on Kelly.

 

Love Parkey

Unreal acquisition. Who knew he’d go from this…


… to hyper-reliable NFL kicker in just a few months.

 

Extra edge

Moose and Goose were so fascinated by Sanchez being prepared to run the offense and by the Texans’ defensive line being worn down, but these are the areas in which Chip gets the edge. It’s his extra 2%. No Eagles fan was the least surprised that Sanchez was well-equipped to run that offense. Outsiders couldn’t believe it. This is a direct effect of the Eagles’ up-tempo practices.

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29 Responses

  1. Fuckin’ Eagles were lucky to win that game as shitty as the whole fuckin’ team played! They are not going anywhere this year, so don’t get your fuckin’ hopes up!

  2. Unreal how excited people get about Mark Sanchez. Does everyone forget how bad he was in New York? He played well in a preseason game against a second string defense this year and people are excited for him to be the starting qb?…Did you miss the 2 passes he throw right at Texans defenders today? If they could catch the ball, he would have had 4 interceptions today. Do you think opposing teams are not going to watch film on him and have an adequate chance at making him look like a fool like he did two years ago in New York? Come on Kyle…

    1. Yeah – couldn’t agree more, even the pass to Maclin was underthrown causing Maclin to basically stop, should of been a TD. People are going to find out real quick that Mr. Butt Fumble is not good.

    2. sanchez is not as good as me. i once threw three passes right to the same defender in a super bowl. hahahahahahahaha of course i was just covering some gambling debts…allegedly.

  3. A win is a win. Was the texans tho. Its not like they beat New England so lets hope Foles has the most ridiculous recovery ever. Please with that Sanchez bullshit.

  4. did you just confess you want to bang your cousin?

    also…Foles has an AC separation. He didn’t break his clavicle.

  5. I’d lick Erin Andrews sweaty toes and @sshole with chocolate syrup and whip cream.

  6. expect more run game. Shady-Sproules-Polk.
    Chip ran the ball where Andy never would.

    Sanchez ? he didnt lose the game…..look for the latino angle leading into Dallas game……Pitbull is the halftime performer.
    the NFC as Didinger said ” is wide open”

  7. Kyle, i whole heartedly agree with youre main point. Fucking your cousin is a beautiful and wonderous past time that should be cherished, not chided. I hope all your cousins read this post and line up at your door for a taste of Great Scott, because thats the natural way of things.

  8. My faith in you son is beginning to regrow. You described Eskin perfectly. “Tool bag”

    I can only assume that tool in that bag has to be a dick.

  9. Define looking GOOD? Sanches looked almost exactly like foles, 2 picks and 2 more that were right in the hands of the defensive backs. Sanches wasn’t horrible but he wasn’t GOOD either. People bash foles all year for the same crap mark did yesterday and if foles had the same numbers as sanches he would be getting ripped again for his play.

  10. I can”t wait till the weather gets real bad and Eskin has to stand out there in freezing rain and howling winds. It’s a big hoot when your in a temperature controlled dome.

  11. Sanchez is our better option this year but I don’t think that either of these guys is a great option going forward. He might not have the ceiling that Foles has, but he’s a vet and he doesn’t have lead feet. He can get outside the pocket without looking awkward and terrible and is a little bit more of a threat on the keep. His red-zone efficiency compared to Nick was a stark contrast.

    I do think that Chip will run the ball quite a bit more here in the next few weeks as the o-line gets back together just to make Sanchize’s life easier.

    1. “His red-zone efficiency compared to Nick was a stark contrast.” He played 3 quaters of a game…they had 2 red zone opportunities and they didnt even attempt a pass in one of them. And he can get outside the pocket without looking awkward? Do you really want to see Sanchez start running with the football? He won’t look terrible when he starts running into the backside of his teammates though right?

  12. What I get out of this is we are one hit away from the Matt Barkley 2014 shit show … get healthy soon Nick, even if it is just to hold the clipboard!

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