Photo credit: Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports

Photo credit: Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports

I’m reading these babies like Chick Lit– all cuddled up on the couch with a drink and, maybe, bashfully, a cookie or two.

Jenny Vrentas of MMQB is the latest to take us deep inside Mark Sanchez, into his soul, to find out what makes him tick, what makes him him. She recounts a meeting his friend and trainer, Todd Norman, set up in Orange County last January. You know, the OC. It was there that Sanchez was presented with the hard truth:

Norman often asks clients to rate how challenging exercises are on a scale of 1 to 100, and he used that same approach to assess Sanchez’s mindset. “How important is football to you?” he asked. “How badly do you want to be a starting quarterback in the NFL?”

Sanchez’s answer: 110. But that Norman even had to ask was more telling.

“He’s going to kill me for saying this, but when we had that first meeting, I told him he needed to shave his beard and cut his hair,” Norman says. “I said, ‘Hey, you need to look like a professional, and right now you don’t look like a starting quarterback in the NFL.’ Mark is a good-looking guy, and he just didn’t look like he was keeping himself together. To me, that was part of his rebirth. Making a complete change, even in his appearance.”

In the words of the great Al Jaffe: Cut your hair.

But the transformation wasn’t just surface-level. They needed to rebuild Sanchez, to mold him into the (starting!) quarterback he is today. Hot, steamy yoga was prescribed:

After becoming an Eagle, most of Sanchez’s workouts with Norman and Bob Johnson, his coach at Mission Viejo, focused on sharpening the skills he’d need to run Philadelphia’s up-tempo offense. He wore an elevation mask that restricted his breathing during drills, forcing him to take deeper and more controlled breaths. He hooked up resistance bands to his feet so he could enhance his agility and quickness in the pocket. He also started practicing hot yoga up to three times a week, which helped him recharge physically and mentally.

The Sanchize breathed deeper, stretching his body into a position most men can only dream of. He looked up at me, his brown eyes piercing so deep into my being that they nearly hit a nerve, and it was then that I realized the butt fumbler was ready to… oh my God WHAT just happened? Where were we?!?!?! Ah, right– redemption. Yeah, Mark not only found an offense in which he could thrive, but also his lost sense of humor:

The pressures of playing in New York took a toll on Sanchez. At times he seemed uptight or beaten down, if not outright defeated. But he didn’t arrive in Philadelphia with the same expectations. He was also joining a team that has a clear offensive identity linked directly to its head coach—a far cry from the three offensive coordinators he had in five years with the Jets. During the Eagles’ preseason, Sanchez turned heads not only with his 80.6% completion rate, but also for his relaxed demeanor that had all but disappeared in New York. He’s back to making it fun for everyone. At one point, Sanchez bought an autographed photo of Napoleon Dynamite, Foles’ doppelganger, and hung it in the quarterbacks’ meeting room.

You can eat the tots, Nick, but you should totally try the chicken tenders, too.

You can read the full piece here— it’s very good. May I recommend pairing it with a cheap Cab Sav as this foggy fall wonderscape serves as your setting?

https://twitter.com/eqloprtntyhtr/status/532555738770833408

I can’t even.