Another Super Secret Baseball Insider Writes about How Bad Ruben Amaro Is at His Job

"Look at all this shit!" Photo credit: David Manning-USA TODAY Sports
“Look at all this shit!” Photo credit: David Manning-USA TODAY Sports

The bow tie man himself, little baby Ken Rosenthal, writes about Ruben Amaro’s failures to move his three most valuable commodities and Ryan Howard:

This was the winter of deal-makers — A.J. Preller, Rick Hahn, Andrew Friedman, Billy Beane, Dan Jennings. Amaro and Phillies president Pat Gillick needed to head that list. But they’re not even close to being on it.

Yes, the Phils made seemingly decent trades to get rid of shortstop Jimmy Rollins and outfielder Marlon Byrd. Yes, they have reasons for their inability to move Hamels, Papelbon and Co. But this is a team that had clubhouse issues last season, an environment not “conducive to winning,” according to manager Ryne Sandberg.

That environment will not improve this season, given the uncertainty surrounding so many prominent veterans. And good luck to the Phillies persuading their fans to buy tickets for a team that remains stuck in neutral.

Honestly? It’s getting to the point where I’m not even sure what to excerpt from these articles anymore. It’s just graf after graf of grammatical hits on the Phils. So I’ll try my hand at writing one:

The Phillies are hoarders. They’re aware they have a problem. They acknowledge something needs to change. They know that box of record sleeves – which double as toilet seat covers for guests fearful of contact with a brownish-yellow-hued jester’s chair – needs to be thrown out. But when it comes time to put up or shut up, all they can part with is a stubborn old coffee machine (Jimmy Rollins), a noisy teakettle (Shane Victorino), and that bluetooth-enabled alarm clock and speaker that they could never figure out how to work anyway (Marlon Byrd). All the while, the big gold bar sitting on the kitchen table will serve as a coaster for another year (Cole Hamels). The little-used, gas-guzzling riding mower, of real value to a family with actual greenery on their property, remains in the storage shed, pissing off other power tools (Jonathan Papelbon). The iPhone 4s that sat beneath a pile of papers on a desk, waiting to be put up for auction on eBay, now holds no value because the screen cracked when someone unwittingly placed the big gold bar on top of it (Cliff Lee). And then there’s that Hi-Fi stereo unit and DVD player combo taking up space in the living room that they’re just going to have to live with or pay someone to remove (Ryan Howard). What a mess indeed.

How’s that?


17 Responses

  1. Because the Rays made a bad deal for Price and the Padres don’t have adequate prospects, he’s bad at his job for not making that deal? I don’t think Amaro has been great either, but Hamels isn’t someone they need to get rid of because he’s in the way.

  2. Also, Jim Adair is awful at his job, yet you keep him around. So you are Dave Montgomery to his Amaro.

  3. There are deals to be made and the Phils can get good prospects back…IF they pay some salary. They need to pay a lot of Papp’s salary, they need to pay some of Hamels’ salary, and they need to be prepared to pay a ton of Lee’s salary. If not, they won’t get much in return. Why in the world would an MLB team agree to pay a high priced contract AND give up top prospects at the same time? The Phillies have tons of money. They have very few good young players. It’s time to put up some cash and make some moves or the team will fall further in the crapper and attendance will decline another 20%

  4. zzzzzzzzzzzz

    we already know he sucks; More importantly what’s going on with franklin…seriously, what’s he doing right now

  5. It is stunning how atrocious the Phillies have become. I can’t imagine a team in a worse position with worse leadership. Trading Rollins and Byrd is merely scratching the surface. 2015 will “feature” almost a mirror image of the 2014 team. WTF. I am so sick of this slop-hole team.

  6. Well, your Hamels analogy is way off. He’s got the 7 most innings pitched in the last 4 seasons. It would be more accurate to say he’s used more often than he should be.

    Ruben Amaro either gets a nice haul for Hamels, Lee, and Papelbon by the TDL while covering much of their salaries because he’ll have to, or he’s a total and complete failure. Instead of just being a total and complete dipshit.

  7. Can Miss Robin do anything without tagging along Tony Bruno’s back? It’s really embarrassing. She is disgusting.

    1. everyone just stop talking about the loser idiots on the radio?

      Oh, and STFU about the loser idiots on the radio.

  8. Any update on the progress of Maikel Franco during winter baseball and is there any chance the Phillies go after Cuban prospect Yoan Moncada?

    1. Who is this Maikel Franco you speak of? Who is this Yoan Moncada? Are they veterans full of grit, moxie, and are always dirty? If not I never heard of ’em. They aren’t “rookie” talent are they? If so they’re worthless.

  9. Oh big deal!! So what that the Phillies have Howard, Hamels and the others on the roster to start the season.. So what!!

    When the season rolls along and key players on other teams get injured or the pressure of a playoff hunt gets to another GM, a deal will be struck and in all likelihood they’ll all be gone by July.. Right around the time the organization plans on bringing up Crawford anyways..

    And its not like the Phillies are in financial distress.. They’ve actually shed their payroll this year by at least 15% if every big-price player stays and next year starts the Comcast contract where the team will get $250 Million every year for 10 years..

    So what’s the rush to dump everyone? Its common knowledge the team will be bad so let everything just play out and give Ruben a break.. He’s not as bad as dum dums like WIP’s Cataldi says

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