Hello all. Jim Adair here — hated writer, tight sweatpants wearer, general idiot — to answer questions from you for some reason (I guess because Kyle did it). So go ahead and start asking questions and throwing insults down in the comments. I’ll be there answering as many questions and I can and generally responding to nonsense.
UPDATE: Full transcript can be seen after the jump, split up by topic for easier readability.
Stuff Jim Likes:
Have you listened to the band Superheaven? Their new song is dope; seems like something you would like. Are you from the area or did you move somewhere far to Philly? Favorite band and favorite current TV show.
I have not, but I have heard of them. I’m falling behind on new music right now. I’m originally from Port Richmond. Moved to Delco. Moved to South Philly.
Band: It’s too hard but I’m all about the Mountain Goats right now.
TV Show: Currently on is The Americans, but Hannibal is amazing and coming back soon.
“I’m originally from Port Richmond. Moved to Delco. Moved to South Philly.” Holy shit. That is like the Triple Triple of being a Dingus. Wait, are you related to Joe Adair from Port Richmond?
Not that I know of. There’s more than one Adair clan from up there. There’s a Jim Adair who I am not related to who was a cop and received a thank you letter from MLK Jr. that was up for auction a few years ago. It was incredibly cool, but no relation.
That is my grandfather! No joke.
Really? That’s awesome. I remember reading that and asking my dad if we were related. His response was basically: No, those are other Adairs.
Yeah. He did a lot of security for high profile people while they were in Philadelphia.
There are probably some great stories there. Completely unrelated because it just popped in my mind: I once met a man who I thought was crazy and he talked to me for about a half hour namedropping all of these people and this stuff and I thought he was just nuts. After we parted ways I googled him and he was telling the truth about everything and he was Jackie Kennedy’s personal hairdresser and I haven’t seen him since. He’s like a great story ghost.
Are you a fan of PBR?
Only if it’s the cheapest at the bar and I don’t wanna spend money.
If you had to have intercourse with any Philly athlete (Eagles, Flyers, Sixers, Phillies) who would it be and why?
Chase is the old standby, but I’m gonna go with Dario Saric. I mean, come on.
Are you a WIP or 97.5 kinda guy?
Honestly neither. If I had to choose it’d be WIP though. I literally grew up listening to Howard Eskin at the dinner table, and I’m surprised I survived.
You probably listen to both Bruno/Innes and Missanelli but if you had to pick one show to listen to, which one would it be?
That’s honestly tough. Innes isn’t my style, but I don’t actively dislike him. I don’t actually mind Miss’ show, but I do dislike him. Therefore, tiebreaker is Tony Bruno, so I’ll go with Bruno/Innes.
Do you agree that Sean Brace is the worst person on radio right now?
I can’t say I’ve heard EVERYONE on radio enough to judge if he’s the worst on the entire spectrum, but I’m mostly indifferent. You guys all seem to hate him though, and your hate is on point usually.
I’m pretty neutral when it comes to you Jim, but that picture is absolutely hilarious man.
You gotta keep the arm up to guide the shot.
Imagine Dragons or Action Bronson?
I don’t think I’m cool enough to listen to Action Bronson but I actively hate Imagine Dragons so Bronson it is.
Stuff about Jim:
Was your old Twitter handle fitting because you were actually lame or was it ironic because you were just so damn cool?
It was neither really. It was created out of boredom and I never really thought about it again until I changed it this week.
Where are you from? What’s your mothers maiden name? What was the name of your first pet? What is your favorite color? What is your yahoo email address?
No one uses Yahoo anymore.
There was a write up about Connor Barwin’s so called work ethic on philly.com today. Why were you not all over this yet?
I’ve been too busy texting the people I know who have seen him at shows asking if he did anything weird.
Follow up. Do you think its high time the city cleared out the hipster-cancer that is ruining Philadelphia?
There are many, many other problems facing Philadelphia. The hipster-cancer is like fourth on that list.
Do, you, have, something, against, loose, fitting, sweatpants?
I need to be held in place by normally loose fitting pants.
I’m a fulltime fashionista and I have to say very impressed with your skinny sweats fashion-forwardness. Only a man who is comfortable in his own skin can rock those interesting pantaloons.
They were only $10 in a store I was already in. That’s why I bought them. But yeah, I got full motion on the court in those things.
Jim, do you wear bikini briefs or thongs?
I also wear those sweatpants to the beach.
Why are you no longer lame and did Kyle give you permission to no longer be lame?
I honestly don’t remember when/why I made that my twitter handle. I was probably bored and wanted to change it. And I never cared enough to switch it, but it started to feel really dumb when people would be tweeting at me during Sixers games and had to type that stupid handle.
Disappointed that you’re answering these questions sarcastically… What sports did you play growing up? Does it bother you that people bust your balls?
I played baseball, basketball, and football. Was good at none of them, peaked athletically at like 10. Once kids were allowed to throw curveballs, my career was over.
And not really. I mean, it’s at the point where there’s nothing I can do about it. I would really like to meet an active commentor though. If you see me around and you recognize me, come say hi. Also please don’t punch me.
What are you eating for lunch today?
I’m currently eating a PB&J on an English Muffin and drinking some Swiss Farms Tea Cooler.
I can’t wait for you to get diabetes.
I’m well on my way, friend.
Jim, if you were to pursue any career of your choice (not limited by education level or skill), what would it be?
That’s really interesting actually. When I was a kid I wanted to run a record label, so maybe that. Though if I’m doing it solely for cash it’d be first baseman for the Phillies.
Why don’t you just start one then? Not too unrealistic.
There was a time when a friend of mine and I were going to, but a kid I went to college with started one and I saw how incredibly time consuming it is. Maybe one day when I have the drive and time. That’s why that kid I knew in college was smart to do it then. Plus it made more sense when I had a bunch of friends who were in bands that I could work with, now I basically know one dude who plays music full time.
Jim, are you Candy from the Oak? If not, were you a commenter prior to this gig?
I was not. I’ve never been much of a commenter here or anywhere else. I did used to post pretty frequently on a Bloc Party message board like 7 years ago though.
You definitely earned my respect with this Q&A. You showed you can make fun of yourself and have thick skin. You said you’ve lived in Port Richmond, Delco, and South Philly. Rank them in order of hottest girls in order (if that’s even possible).
Well considering I left Port Richmond when I was 12, it’ll have to rank last. Delco, for the bad rap it gets (deservedly so), has got some very good looking people. I’ll go South Philly with #1 just because my neighborhood has a lot of attractive people and I obviously don’t belong. If I’m ranking places overall I have dated multiple girls from the Greater Scranton area, including my current gf, so that’s a definite number one.
Stuff people don’t like about Jim:
Where did you learn how to write, and how can I avoid sending my kids there?
I went to Kutztown University and you can avoid sending your kids there by being able to afford an expensive school.
So when you’re surfing other news aggregators to aggregate your own ‘news’ do you ever contemplate suicide?
Constantly. Additionally (this is going to sound incredibly lame but I don’t care) I, like many people out there, deal with anxiety and depression. I have, in the past, contemplated suicide. It’s not a fun or funny thing, and people who find themselves down that road should reach out for help.
Jim, do you, get paid, by the, comma?
I mean, I probably should, right?
If I had to guess, you wouldn’t be able to name 10 guys in the MLB.
But i’m sure you could tell us what Conor Barwin ate at the latest Indy Rock concert?
It’s “indie rock” and I heard he asked for a 2XL sweatshirt but they didn’t have one.
If you could be any Pokemon you wanted to be, how and why would you still be such a huge douchenozzle? Queer.
I mean I’d probably be Onyx, and he is the biggest douchenozzle pokemon.
Goddamn what a cocksucker 8====>
Actually, it’s probably Geodude.
When the fuck are you going to get a real job?
Whenever you guys actually convince Kyle to fire me.
Why do you love commas and em dashes so much?
Because they’re fancy.
How much does kyle pay you and do you get him groceries?
He pays me just enough to afford his groceries.
Have you and Kyle ever gone on a company retreat? Did you share sleeping bags? Who shared whose?
We had a beer once.
Why only once? Does Kyle think he is better than you?
Actually I was mistaken. It was twice.
When you meet with Kyle in person and/or Skype with him, does he make you wear a Jay Wright or Chase Utley mask?
I have to shave my beard into a soul patch and answer only to Chase while wearing a Nova basketball jersey.
I know you guys are upset about the Phillies excluding you from their recent media days. But have you at least found out when they plan on having Mike Schmidt Days?
I would rather not go to the Phillies media days to be honest. We were all able to know what the new foods at CBP were from their most recent media event by following a hashtag. It’s the future.
So now you two dipshits don’t want to be invited to this kind of thing, anyway? Kyle’s been whining about it for two days now. You guys are seriously poor losers.
I mean the only thing of that kind I was ever invited to was the Sixers thing, so I don’t expect to get invited to stuff and I tend not to be salty if I’m not.
So, do you report directly to Kyles moms basement, or does she not allow him visitors?
I don’t know exactly where he lives, so every morning I just drive around cul-de-sacs yelling his name.
Jim, does Kyle ever pay you in trident layers? Or for that matter, does he pay you at all? Second question, and be honest, do you guys actually think those T-Shirts are good?
No one ever pays me in gum.
I am going to assume you are dodging the second question because you dislike them. Also side note I actually think I like you now that you’re doing this but I haven’t decided yet.
I didn’t answer this in the comments but I will now: I actually really like a few of the shirts. Kyle asked me if I wanted a Kelly Drive one and I said yea, but I don’t know if it was assumed I’d order one because I was expecting a free one and never got it. Either way, t-shirts accentuate my gut so I tend to stay away if at all possible.
Jim, will the Crossing Broad Golf League continue in 2015?
You’d have to ask Kyle that. I’ve never golfed in my entire life. Only mini.
I am asking you, Jim. This is ask Jim day, right? I doubt Kyle will ever see this line of questions, unless he wants a really good laugh. Can we get an intern to help run it this year?
I will forward your concerns to Kyle, and I’m sure that’s something we can saddle our future intern(s) with.
Is this your fulltime job? It can’t be… if so, yikes.
I also care for my roommates’ cats.
How many times did you vote for Innes in the 1st round to ensure he’d go up against Mikey Miss?
Actually I voted against him. Sorry Kyle.
Are you or Kyle gonna bring back trivia at drinkers or at any other bar in the city??
Last time I talked to Kyle about that, he mentioned how badly some of them went, so I doubt he’ll bring it back. But again, he knows better than I.
Assuming you have access to the IP addresses of many of the commenters on this site, how do you restrain yourself from tracking them down and beating them senseless? When I read the comments on this site, I can’t help but think we are doomed if society ever needs to rely on the current generation internet trolls to do anything useful.
I think you’re overestimating my ability to beat someone senseless.
Do you think Kyle will follow in John Mellencamp’s footsteps and eventually change his name back in stages, going Kyle Scott >> Kyle Scott Laskowski >> Kyle Laskowski?
That’s a good question, but “Scott” isn’t nearly as cool as “Cougar.”
Do you agree the wah-wah bar is an obnoxious way to make money?
It doesn’t bug me as much as it seems to bug some of you guys.
All kidding aside, do you think the abuse you take on this site happens to be related to some of the sloppy content and punctuation you post on here? I mean, this is a city of hard working and knowledgeable sports fans. If your going to be sloppy and lazy, how do you expect to be taken seriously? Also, favorite commenter handles?
1. Nope, because it started the second I was introduced.
2. Hard working and knowledgeable aren’t words people would typically use to describe the comments section. But again, it doesn’t bother me. You guys are down there having fun and making each other laugh, so that’s fine.
3. None that come to mind right now, but I have laughed out loud at some names before.
Will there be a CB app?
I think there’s one in the works/being planned/coming sometime.
If it comes down to Mudiay v Russell, who do the 76ers take at #3?
Personally I like Russell but that’s just because 1. I have seen less of Mudiay and 2. Russell can shoot.
Jim, who do you think will be the best offensive player in the NL this year, and why?
Individual player? No idea. But coming from the NL East I think the Nationals have a good chance at the best record in baseball this year. [Ed. note: This answer really made like two people angry, so I’ll say what everyone else who watches baseball thinks: If Giancarlo Stanton stays healthy, he’s unstoppable.]
Do you have the same hate for Amaro that the rest of the city does? Why do you think he still has a job?
Honestly, at this point I’m more befuddled than anything else. I can’t fathom why he still has a job, and anything he does can no longer make me mad, because it’s what I have to expect. That Jesse Biddle concussion thing did make me mad though.
Since Philly teams are so bad I want to organize a “Boycott Party” and here’s how it works: One of the 4 major sports teams misses the playoffs. Then, if the following year the team has a below .500 record at the midpoint of the season, this will result in a boycott party for their next home game. (Phillies are 36-45 going into game #82) We hold a big tailgate outside the arena celebrating the successful teams in the franchise’s history and picket & protest the current team, encouraging all local sports fans to boycott that game and get as little attendance as possible for that game. It can be like the new generation’s wing bowl but started by the guys at Crossingbroad. Thoughts?
I assume this is really targeted at the Phillies and it’d be a cool idea if anyone in the front office there every paid attention to anything.
What’s the greatest live sporting event you’ve ever attended?
I’ve never seen a Phillies playoff win. I did see a Sixers playoff win back in the day but I barely remember it. I sat in the St. Joe’s student section (my dad was in grad school) for the first St. Joe’s/Temple game after Nehemiah Ingram was sent in as an enforcer. That was pretty great.
Nice, interestingly enough you and Nehemiah Ingram are identical when it comes to the overall purpose of the “team.” You do nothing extraordinary for CB, and are basically just a bench player providing rest for the star (kyle). In fact, just like Ingram’s purpose at Temple was to punch players, your equivalent of “punching” at CB is your constant overuse commas.
Rank the Big 5 coaches. Only names, no explanations. I want my imagination to do the work.
Wright, Martelli, Dunphy, Giannini, and Donahue (because he hasn’t coached a game yet).
I am the real Jim Adair!
Only one of us can survive.
Why did Josie go on a Vacation far away?
I’m not sure we’ll ever know, but she’s not gonna like what she comes home to.
When your blowing Kylie and he unloads in your mouth, do u spit it out or swallow before you write a shitty article?
Are the longstanding rumors about Kyle being a cuck true?
I’ve never been invited.
Fuck, Marry, Kill??? Rhea Hughes…Jen Daniels…Sarah Baicker???
Jen, Sarah, Rhea. In that order.