[I was going to go with the lesser-used acronym BFB in the headline, but figured most people weren’t familiar with the shorthand for big fat blob.]
This is Tom Shattuck, and he is apparently paid to type his thoughts into a program that converts them into a format suitable for this specific public forum, the Boston Herald:
Sorry, losers. The fact is that everything about Brady is awesome.
Even his adopted hometown is cooler than yours. And that bothers you.
Boston has never looked better — never been better, and that only serves to fuel the irrational, national hate for Brady even further.
New York City is badly in need of Febreze, and its clown mayor has solidified himself as national donkey.
Philadelphia is home to the worst fans in sports and has nothing to offer the many visitors who don’t have the heart to tell them that their cheesesteaks are synthetic rubbish.
Baltimore … well … Baltimore is Baltimore. Enough said.
Ditto Detroit.
Indianapolis has relegated itself to the home of The Tattletale. It has an airport and a convention center. Maybe they can have the tattletale convention there. “Trust no one.”
These are just a few of the hater hot spots.
If you live outside of New England, chances are you dwell in one, too.
Clever. Unfortunately for Tom, who has a whole 1,461 Twitter followers, his dwelling may be even worse than those hater hot spots what with his commercial carpeting, crusty door jams, shredded blinds, and drop-ceiling. Boston may be a cool city, and it may look great, but can you still apply those descriptors if you’re an out-of-shape scribe who lives in a hovel and considers stuff like this his pastime?
Sometimes I'll just mouth breathe & stare at the security cam at Walmart for 45 min. Entertains the boys in the booth pic.twitter.com/Vqg6rJUzm8
— Tom Shattuck (@tomshattuck) March 7, 2015
No. No you can not.
It’s times like these where we can just roll out the always reliable Go Screw, Boston.
31 Responses
Truth hurts losers.
Jealous no a little envious sure I mean seriously our team the Eagles haven’t won anything in 55 years so we have a right to be angry.
Someone from Boston calling Philly fans the worst in sports…now THAT is some funny shit.
Boston and Philly are basically the same fucking city…Chowder and Cheesesteaks (which are both phenomenal if you go to the right place to get them), tons of American history landmarks, and we’re both just hanging out in the shadow if that big rotten apple…Their accent is marginally more annoying than ours…
20 bucks he has a Brady fathead above his bead.
FACE
Legit
20 bucks he has a Brady blow-up in his bed.
While all your comparisons are accurate, they do have many, many more championships than we do in the last 15 years.
I’d be ok with our teams cheating if we can acquire some hardware.
The only reason we have Broad Street is to host some races a few times a year. Championships don’t seem to be taking up too much of the street in this town.
Oh in terms of sports, they have us by a lot and it’s not really close. They have the most championships of any 4 sport city I believe…
I was just speaking in terms of the city itself and the people in it. Comparing Boston and Philly is comparing apples to apples…
SMH.
The Boston accent only marginally worse than that of Philadelphia ? Marginally worse than a donkey more like. A loud donkey with it’s balls in a vice.
Boston fans chanted “BEAT LA” to the Sixers after the Celtics lost to them in the 1982 conference finals. What is Philly’s “BEAT LA” moment? Doesn’t have one, moron.
Boston fans > Philly fans
Signed,
A Philly fan
There are plenty of them. We’re no different than any other major sports city…neither are they.
Did she see the roast? He’s right. That’s was an embarrassment.
Still with the roast though? Man I thought that was over on here…
It’s never over son
As a Port Richmond boy born and raised, could someone please explain this cheesesteak thing the national media is always going on about. They really are the only assholes who eat that shit, wonder if they’ll ever get that. The Ethel’s special was the shit, soft pretzels and hoagies, tastykakes, Frank’s black cherry. Cheesesteaks were for the ginz.
I love a good cheesesteak but I 100% agree. Way too many hometown foods that are as good if not better that get ignored.
Kenso, born and raised, and cheesesteaks trump TastyKakes.
Ahhh yes there’s nothing like an old school Frank’s black cherry wishniak.You prompted me to watch the old 1980’s Frank’s commercial on youtube.
Patty Smyth in a tight wife-beater. Yowza.
Shattuck looks like an expert on cheesesteaks.
Geez, that guy is a worse writer than Marcus Hayes or Jim. (ZING!)
I can’t believe that is a real paper. It seems like they devoted their entire sports section to “wahhh…no one likes us and thinks we’re assholes. But we’re going to pretend that its cool and we actually revel in the hatred. Really though we’re super butthurt about it.”
Come to think of it, are we sure that Josh Innes isn’t from Boston? Seems like they have a lot in common.
Shattuck and Jim?
Or …has anyone ever spied Jim and Shattuck in the same place at the same time?
I’ve been informed that Brady has “smal hands” for a QB.
Hookers have known this measurement since the dawn of time.
Brady’s gonna have to moonlight with his model wife on the runway……
They do have a great marathon.
Anyone give one about this story?
I’m stuck living in Boston for work and it’s really nice to see these people squirm and get very defensive about this. Boston fans at their core are Philly fans, very insecure. They were a step child sports city forever until the last decade when they got it together. But they still never forget the many years of crap teams.
Dude is 100% right…
I’ve got Tom Brady’s deflated balls in my face!
mmmmmmmmm….jealous!
Not me!!! ^^^^^
Way to go handle stealer. Now knock it off!
Brady did cheat, but he is allowed to as a result of his “hotness”. I will let him deflate my balls any day!
Does anyone know if Boston has a 1-5 time slot open on sports radio? Sounds like my kind of town