Unidiction: Reviewing The New Sixers Jerseys

from the http://www.nba.com/sixers/MadeInPHILA

from http://www.nba.com/sixers/MadeInPHILA

Jim was there, Kyle added another item to his list of things he loves about the Sixers ownership group, so what’s left? Lots! And in Question/Answer Format!

Are they nice?

Yes, they’re nice. That’s about it, though. Definitely not “great,” but they’re a very nice logical extension of the current uniform design.

Just “nice?” There are so many glowing comments about them!

Well, for one, they’re not the monstrosities that the Clippers unveiled the same day. For two, they succeeded in the very difficult “it ain’t broke, but we fixed it anyway, yet it came out better than when we started” design challenge. Really, though, they’re nice, and that’s kind of a win. Kind of. In the vein of wins that aren’t wins. Like managing to somehow not have the worst record of the 2014-15 season. But for those acting like these uniforms are the direct replacement for something as bad as the early 90s clownsuits, take a deep breath. They’re not even replacing something like the generally acceptable but forgotten mid-90s uniforms. The existing uniforms were also nice, but I wouldn’t argue too strenuously if someone told me they were boring. The new uniforms are not boring.

These new uniforms look a lot like the most recent jerseys, right? Everyone is talking like these are some giant step forward for the team.

2014
from the http://www.nba.com/sixers/MadeInPHILA

2014, top. New, bottom.

You’re right. These are remarkably similar to the uniforms worn since 2009. Non-fussy, old-timey gym class typeface on the front, base material one of red, white, or blue, numbers horizontally centered below the wordmark… you know, the Sixers retro-ish look they’ve worn for six years. BUT, they’ve emphasized “PHILA” text, with “SIXERS” relegated to the alternate, and added some pretty nice details to the side panels of both the jerseys and and the shorts. Again, they’re a nice destination from the starting point of the current uniform. They definitely have more flavor than what they replaced.

So, the city name will be on the primary home jerseys, not the team name?

Yep. Call me old, but I prefer the baseball (almost-)standard of team name on home jerseys, city name on aways, but this is not a hill on which I need to die. It’s fine. There’s plenty of history of the Sixers wearing “Phila,” and in the right circumstances, I’ll even accept nostalgia without qualification.

phi-six-1960s-home-620x776

So, these snazzy, starry side panels– they look familiar.

You’re right; they do. But they didn’t think of using a different number of stars on each side back then.

1977feb
world_b_free_1976_01_01

Wait, what’s this about mismatched stars?

Well, the fault in their stars is intentional. A total of seven on the player’s right side, six on his left side. 76(ers). Or 7+6 = 13, the number of wins they’ll have next season. What? Everyone at Crossing Broad is supposed to be on-board with “the plan?” Fine. 7-6 = only 1 Sixers. Together We Build.

Kyle would probably prefer I use the “7 stars, 6 stars ” joke to reference “no better than 7th seed, 6 years in a row” if they don’t rebuild.

But the hidden PHILA TOUGH tag along the hem is pretty neat. It makes me feel like I’m [rebuilding] with the team.

Voila_Capture 2015-06-18_08-22-18_PM

But you’re not part of the team. You’re just some schlub paying $90+to wear someone else’s name on your back, and you’re now being marketed at with details specifically designed to make you feel like you know the secret clubhouse handshake. “Look at this cool ‘PHILA TOUGH’ detail which only the players can see!” It’s like you’re in the locker room and not the target of a checkbox in modern uniform design and marketing. Of course, this is also accompanied with the marketing copy trumpeting up just how subtle this feature is. So subtle that it was the first adjective used to describe it. Then, a description of how it was “…stitched upside down, situated to be legible to Sixers players as they tuck in their jerseys.” Note: they’ll also see it if they need to go the bathroom during the game. #INSPIRATION. Sure, it’s harmless aesthetically, and this is becoming excessively mean, so let’s move on.

You bloggers are so negative. If it’s so bad, what would you have done differently?

Hey! I keep reiterating that it’s nice; I’m just not as overwhelmed as Jim and Kyle. A super quick improvement: use red numbers on the white jersey, like the current white jerseys (and the Dodgers). This gives a nice pop on the white set. But for doing it differently, the 60s two-tone/panel uniforms would be an interesting jumping off point for a new uniform, and it already has “PHILA” and stars…

60s

 

Any more positivity emanating from your mom’s basement about this?

Yes! For once, a big uniform unveiling has been solely about the design itself. This wasn’t the typical Nike NFL launch where it’s littered with Nike-speak among the descriptions of the various components. No “45% lighter, 30% more breathable” nonsense; just a full description of all the design elements of the new uniform. I can be (and have been) tough on marketing-speak, but watching a team unveil a new uniform, it’s expected. Their product is the team, and the uniforms are part of that brand. Watching Nike use the captive audience as an opportunity to turn the team’s event into a Nike commercial is borderline offensive. Even the hype video, often the refuge of the 50:50 team/apparel maker sales pitch was exclusively about the team, not the team’s outfitter. Does this have something to do with 2015-16 being the last year of the Adidas contract? Maybe. Will Nike pound us all over the head with Nike-speak (Flywire, Hyperknit, Hyperfuse…) every chance they can get when they then take over the contract? Absolutely. [note: I’m not giving Adidas a free pass here. Their NCAA Football hype work is just as bad as Nike’s; it’s just that this was a nice change of pace that the apparel maker was simply, you know, making apparel, not looking for ways to get a team to showcase their latest fabric technology and cross-category buzzwords.]

Anything else interesting?

Actually, yeah. Check out the 13 stars on the waistband. One star for every 2015-16 vict…[EDITOR’S NOTE: STOP IT]

belt

 

 

UPDATE: Kyle: I just have to point out how amazing this comment was:

Voila_Capture 2015-06-19_09-06-57_AM

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25 Comments

  • Bob's Budget June 19, 2015 at 6:26 am

    That’s nice boring on broad lets Jillian Mele go to Avalon on Fridays while the other 3 are stuck in studio

    Reply
    • Person who has been to Avalon June 19, 2015 at 7:35 am

      The three in the studio got the better deal.

      Bryan Ferry “Avalon…..is overpriced and full of septuagenarian plutocrats….Avalon”.

      Reply
    • wood yi June 19, 2015 at 7:59 am

      i would like to taste jillian’s dim sum donuts.

      Reply
      • 97.5 Should Hire Jeff from Camden to be Mike Miss's Cohost June 19, 2015 at 8:16 am

        Heard a rumor in rittenhouse that Jillian Mele gets her asshole bleached

        Reply
        • Jillian's A-Hole Bleacher June 19, 2015 at 8:57 am

          You didn’t hear it from me.

          Reply
        • Jan Goram June 19, 2015 at 2:26 pm

          Probably same source that said she swings both ways…both of which are probably true and totally ok

          Reply
  • Sean Braces' gpa June 19, 2015 at 7:14 am

    Is this one of those CrossWalk posts? Who’s Dan Fuller?

    Reply
    • Friday night rich, Monday poor June 19, 2015 at 7:36 am

      What are the specials at Pitcher’s Pub tonight Brace? Any hot house fraus there smoking a lucky or two on the deck?

      Reply
  • P North June 19, 2015 at 7:40 am

    I was waiting for Danny boy to chime in

    Reply
  • Sizzle Chest June 19, 2015 at 8:03 am

    Hey Dan… You suck…. Eat my balls

    Reply
  • Josh Innes June 19, 2015 at 8:05 am

    Yay!!! I’m the number 1 terrestrial sports radio show in the 6th largest market in the offseason!!!!

    Reply
    • Bob , the gay one June 19, 2015 at 8:06 am

      Lol

      So true. I don’t know anyone who listens to either station outside of football season.

      Reply
  • Huge Mitchie Tools Fan June 19, 2015 at 8:10 am

    nothing on the bubble bath???

    Reply
  • FACE June 19, 2015 at 8:34 am

    I like these, but the AI black uni’s were still their best ones IMO.

    Reply
  • Straight to the Comment Section June 19, 2015 at 8:47 am

    We need more sixers jersey posts! If there’s not another sixers jersey post by the end of the day, I will boycott.

    Bob is a f@g. Get with the times, embrace change and buy a $150 sixers jersey. Bob on the back and #69.

    Reply
  • Mr. Miyagi June 19, 2015 at 8:48 am

    The thing says Phila Tough. Not Phila Strong, which you wrote twice.

    Does anyone proofread these things?

    Reply
    • Simpsons Did It June 19, 2015 at 2:28 pm

      Even worst, there is a picture of the PHILA TOUGH right there in the post!

      Reply
    • Dan Fuller June 19, 2015 at 7:34 pm

      d’oh! Fixed. I’ll use this as an opportunity to point out that it’s just another sign that it’s a nonsense rip-off of “Boston Strong…” because that’s easier than owning up to a brainfart.

      Reply
  • Rip Van Winkle June 19, 2015 at 8:49 am

    That was so damn long and boring. I’m going back to sleep.

    Reply
  • I swear I wasnt looking there... June 19, 2015 at 8:51 am

    But the stars on the waistband make it look like their schlongs are loading on an apple device…

    Reply
    • srl19 June 19, 2015 at 9:16 am

      this

      Reply
  • Susie Celek June 19, 2015 at 9:49 am

    Seriously Del Zotto stop calling me.

    Reply
  • Lil' Cuz June 19, 2015 at 10:14 am

    What’s up fellas! Pops picked me up a sweet uni last night. Even got it personalized. Name on the back says “Shitson”. Not sure who that is, probably one of those bad ass Croatian players my pops is always going on about. You guys know he knows a guy over there right? Not sure if he ever mentions it on the radio or anything. That man “knows a guy” for everything. Anyway, last day of Kindergarten today. HOLLLA! Had to write a year end poem to show what we have learned. Want to hear it? Here it goes.

    There once was a girl who did trending
    Whose crotch smell was very offending
    My dad hits it nightly
    Innes’ manboobs are unsightly
    And his ass kicking by Uncle Mike is pending.

    Time to walk to school, got to stop on the way and grab me a pack of Camels from the ol’ bodega. Love the smooth flavor. HAKEEM OLAJUWON!!!!!

    Reply
    • wood yi June 19, 2015 at 11:15 am

      that’s classic!

      Reply
    • Hollis Thomas June 19, 2015 at 11:21 am

      hee hee hee hee hee that’s classic Lil’ Cuz

      Reply

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