New York Giant Nearly Blew His Hand Off With Fireworks

Photo Credit: Robert Deutsch-USA TODAY Sports
Photo Credit: Robert Deutsch-USA TODAY Sports

There’s a headline we always wanted to write.

Fireworks safety PSAs are everywhere each year around the Fourth of July: Be careful. Don’t hold them in your hands. Stay the hell away once they’re lit, etc. Giants defensive end Jason Pierre-Paul should’ve listened.

As it was first reported over the weekend, JPP suffered a hand injury due to a firework accident, severely burning some fingers and his thumb. As of the most recent update, it looks like JPP won’t lose any fingers, but he could suffer severe nerve damage. The Giants franchise-tagged him this offseason, but as Jordan Raanan at reports, “the Giants could rescind their current contract offer, if they so please.” That might make sense for them, too. I’m not sure they believe in the brightest future for the dude who can’t keep his hand away from what is essentially a colorful bomb. This seems like more of a breach of contract than, say, carrying OxyContin over the Canadian border.

Kyle: I’d wager that there’s a strong inverse correlation between education and fireworks. And with that said, shoutout to the asshole setting them off at 1:45 a.m. on a Sunday night last night.

UPDATE: The Giants have reportedly rescinded their offer.


4 Responses

  1. Kyle,
    Just wait until the little one comes along… you will be shouting down all of those assholes, no matter what time they light the fireworks out of their asshole.

  2. Fucking pussies, from about tax day straight on through Hallo – fucking – ween it sounds like fucking downtown Baghdad in my hood. Some are fireworks, most are exploding meth labs, either way, boss the fuck up.

  3. How about the guy in Maine (22 years old) who lit fireworks on top of his head and died instantly. His brother said there was practically nothing left of him. Sad story but really, how stupid can people get??

    1. A 22 year old living in Maine, no doubt an indoctrinated leftist from the day he was able to walk. I call it thinning the herd.

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