The Cowboys played a game last night, which means their cockroach fans scampered out from their holes to inspect the football product on the field. There was, inevitably, a fight.

Deep in the heart of Texas and seen here in this video, dug up by Busted Coverage, was a panel-hatted Romo bro, his feisty female companion, a guy with dichotomous thick-rimmed glasses and gold chain, a trashy chica with a kids meal mask on her head, a mysterious guy in a foam ten-gallon hat (who postures more than a zoo animal sizing up a wild buck), and other assorted roaches of the cock variety, all jousting amongst themselves.

There’s a lot going on here without a lot of punches being thrown, but the thing that stands out to me is ten gallon hat guy, ostensibly a hardass, wanting absolutely no part of the fracas.

After standing guard over his creature, he finally did succumb to the trashy powers that be and threw his hat into the ring (pun intended). As expected, he’s a “hold me back!” guy. But the kind who throws punches at women:

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Haven’t seen someone use a human shield like that since the oh-12 ‘offs between the Flyers and Penguins. HOW ‘BOUT DEM COWBOYS?