Hockey Season Is Here, Which Means It's Time for Tim Panaccio to Completely Mail It In
The Flyers start tonight – as some commenters, who apparently would like me to write a post about the LUKE SCHENN CONTROVERSY*, have pointed out – and that means Tim Panaccio has to work, or at least pretend to, for the next nine six months.
The CSN hockey staff put together their 10 predictions for the season, and where Tom Dougherty and Tim Riday offered up well-thought-out opinions and analysis, Tim Panaccio was sure not to break the character limit in the text message through which he likely sent in his answers.
So as to not copy and paste the entire article, here’s an example of the effort disconnect in the piece:
7. Which Flyers prospects do you expect to see in action for the big club this season?
Panotch: Taylor Leier and Shayne Gostisbehere.
Dougherty: The hot pick is going to be Gostisbehere, but I think Robert Hagg is a little further along in his development and had a solid camp. General manager Ron Hextall had some high praise for him, and I think it’ll be better suited for Gostisbehere to play more games down in the AHL with Sam Morin. I see Hagg being the first defenseman coming up. Injuries will happen, so I could see Nick Cousins coming back up. And as Panotch said, I wouldn’t be shocked to to see Leier making his NHL debut this year.
Riday: I’m with Tom. Gostisbehere played only seven games between the Phantoms and Flyers last season, so I’d like to see him get as much time in the minors on the top pair as possible. But I can see him blowing away the Flyers’ brass and earning a call-up sometime in December. Wouldn’t be surprised if winger Danick Martel, whose speed and tenacity really stood out at rookie camp, get a look if injuries begin to pile up on offense, either. Cousins and Leier would likely get the first look, though.
8. Which Flyer is most likely to be traded by the deadline?
Panotch: Read.
Dougherty: I’m going to go with Luke Schenn. He’s not as bad as people make him out to be and he’s in his final year of his contract at an affordable cap hit. In the right situation, he can be an effective D-man. That situation is a team with a formidable top-four, where he can play in the final pair. He’ll get moved at the deadline. Teams need defense, and he can help someone.
Riday: I can see a team selling high on Streit at the trade deadline. He’s still an extremely valuable defenseman on the PP, can skate with the puck, has tremendous vision and comes with a very manageable $5.25 million cap hit for the next two seasons. He’d be a great addition to a contender looking to make a deep playoff run. Braydon Coburn was worth a first-rounder last year. If Hextall can swing a similar trade involving Streit, expect him to jump on the opportunity to bring more assets to the organization.
Read. He couldn’t even bother typing the first name.
But if you’re a visual learner and prefer to view your laziness in color-coded form– Panotch is in red:
Almost ran out of steam at the end.
https://twitter.com/ChrisOlley2pt0/status/652197542806048768
*No one cares about the battle for the sixth defenseman spot. No one. The fact that Philly Sports Talk, John Boruk and his (only-)two patterns spent, like, 10 minutes on this last night blows my mind. And for real– why the fuck do we send John Boruk to broadcast outside the team hotel in Tampa? Really, what purpose does this serve? This trip had to lose money for CSN.