Eagles win! Utley attempted murder in the basepaths! This is going to be an interesting day.

Let’s hit it!

 

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The roundup:

— Full Bird Droppings coming shortly in separate post —

Philadelphia fans are the worst. Like when they casually snort cocaine at baseball games and get in post-game brawls in the parking lot that end with a guy being shot in the head. Oh wait, that’s Houston and Dallas.

Or like when they run onto the field and take swings at some police. Nope, that was New Jersey.

CBS cozied up to Jerry Jones while to gave his spin on the Greg Hardy situation. Jim Nantz tore into Hardy, but no one else did (especially NFL-branded wet rag Phil Simms). Sounds like a normal NFL broadcast.

Chip Kelly said he won’t fine himself for his first career penalty, but also won’t say what he did to deserve it.

Don’t get all excited now, but the o-line played well.

That’s it. Superstition created. The offense must have a secret shower meeting before every game now.

Seamus McCafferey’s memory about the court and jail at the Vet likely won’t surprise you at all:

We actually kept data at the time. What we found was something like 85 to 90 percent, I believe, of the individuals pled guilty. And the overwhelming majority — maybe 95 percent — weren’t from Philadelphia … We were astonished at how Philadelphia was always getting the negative press. Philadelphia was always getting blown up in the media, ‘we’re a city of crazy fans.’ But when we looked at the data, the data showed us that the fans were really from South Jersey, Delaware County, Montgomery County, Bucks County.

Surprised? Liar.

I’m honestly alarmed about where this guy’s shoes went (I refuse to accept the slides he’s wearing as footwear):

delco

A little tip: Don’t go in that gate. It’s the busiest gate at the Linc and you’ll stand in line for 20 minutes just to get in. Also, maybe show up a bit earlier:

northeast gate

Leading candidate to be replaced by Chip Kelly when he goes back to #college, Steve Sarkisian, has been forced to take a leave of absence due to what many are speculating is alcohol abuse. He may have been under the influence during games.

Getting injured while celebrating is bad. Getting injured while celebrating something the other team did poorly is worse.

Ruben Amaro wants to be a manager. I’ll give you a few minutes to laugh.

A majority of former players polled said that Utley’s slide was dirty, but legal.

Here’s dopey mannequin Mike Francesa trying to console (or mock) a crying Mets fan over the Utley slide:

https://youtu.be/BheBEQIKUxI

Phillies prospect J.P Crawford knows how to endear himself to Phillies fans:

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At Deadspin, Barry Petchesky points out the obvious, the MLB is making an example of Utley:

Takeout slides are dangerous, and just about all of them, even ones much milder than Utley’s egregious tackle, already violate the strict letter of the law that bans slides with the “obvious purpose of crashing the pivot man on a double play.” But in baseball especially, a rule isn’t a rule if it’s not enforced, and MLB can’t further legislate this away. It would need a specific example to point to as something worth bringing the hammer down upon. Suspending Chase Utley for two playoff games feels like exactly that.

The New York Times talked to many current and former players and managers about the Utley slide, but the best quote comes from Cubs manager Joe Maddon, talking about the so-called Buster Posey rule. He said the MLB could attach a kind of flagrant foul rule of sorts to hard, illegal slides into second, but he doesn’t agree with banning them. The Times paraphrases Maddon as saying “it was foolish to change a rule based on a bad technique by one catcher on one play.” Zing.

Jimmy Rollins is also on the Dodgers, in case you forgot, and Sports Illustrated wrote about his leadership role.

Wanna see the Flyers’ opener? You still can:

flyers

 

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