First up, watch billionaire Sixers co-owner and GSI Commerce founder Michael Rubin, who’s estimated to be worth more than Joshua Harris, straight-up hawking Kobe post-game. Like there was a gravitational force pulling him from his courtside seats across the floor to Kobe’s unknowing shoulder like a 12-year-old girl at an Ed Sheeran concert. I touched him! I touched him! If only Kobe had noticed his existence. If only.

Next up: this asshole in Lakers gear at the post-game press conference [my apologies for the god awful CSN autoplay video in advance]:

#lakers Press conference #iReallyDoThis #Kobe #BlackMamba #lituation A video posted by Kyza Sosa M.C. (@imkyzasosa) on

And then the Sixers, too. Here’s Kobe talking about T.J. McConnell, whose name Kobe most definitely did not know, fawning over him during a fourth quarter jump ball– try to ignore the “we love you Kobe”s in the background:

And what I can’t find video of– whoever in the media told Kobe Philly loved him while someone else started clapping. Who was that? Someone told me it was Mike Jerrick who asked the question. Mike– WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT, MIKE? We don’t love him. He’s fake, full of shit. GET A GRIP, PEOPLE. You have it ALL OVER your chins… just how Kobe likes it: