Never A Doubt!

Damn it feels good to be a gangster.

At least, that’s what I imagine was going through impressively in control deer Sam Bradford’s head when he pumped his hoof in celebration after the Eagles gained what should’ve been a game-clinching first down. What did I tell you? Miracle Week in Philadelphia. Roy Halladay, Cliff Lee, DeSean Jaccson, Snow Bowl– all this week. Never a doubt. All day. They had this game all day. That depleted, broken down Patriots team was ripe – glowing in an oversaturated hue and softening on the outside – for their second straight loss, with a relatively short week, playing the Eagles and Chip Kelly, who had 10 days to prepare. Fuck off, Boston. Nice try with the bullshit, cocky-ass gadgetry. Nice idea to kick onsides to a 4-7 team, up 14, at home, in the first half. Nothing like unnecessarily lighting a fire under a team that couldn’t find a spark to ignite the noxious gases wafting ‘neath their bum asses the last three weeks. I’d love, love to hear Eagles sideline audio after that. “THEY DON’T RESPECT US! THEY DON’T RESPECT US!” Suddenly, the Birds had something to play for… and followed it up with 35 unanswered points, the first time that’s ever happened in the Belichick-Brady era.

Oh, and how’d that arrogant decision to go for the jugular after the silly trick play work out? Let’s just heave it up to one of our scab bullshit receivers and stomp the Eagles right out of this one now that we got them doubting themselves again. Great call, asshat. Not even Merrill Reese can believe you made Byron Maxwell look good on the ensuing interception.

Let’s have the league assign inept Pete Morelli and Co., including Belichick’s 8th grade dance partner…

Voila_Capture 2015-12-06_11-21-49_PM

… to tilt the field in the Pats’ favor with 600 penalties against the Eagles, including the downright odd decision not to call a live ball on what should’ve been an Amendola fumble but was ruled incomplete. Doesn’t matter. Interception a few plays later.

All day. Had it all day. And yet, even after the game obnoxious Bostonians struggled to compute defeat. D-E-F, ah, they don’t understand:

If there was fifth quarter. Print this ??.

And look, I hate to say I told you so but no I actually don’t at all. Amy Fadool and Michael Barkann are reading the wrong websites:

Yours oh so truly last Sunday and today on BGN Radio on 97.5 with John Barchard and James Seltzer:

Last Sunday:

“My opinion, Patriots right now, right now, at this point in the season, are the worst 10-0 team of all-time. Barely squeaked by the Giants. Tough game against the Bills, they won largely in part to Danny Amendola having a big day. I believe he is out today. The Broncos I think are better with Brock Osweiler. Gonna go with the Broncos here to cover and win outright and start the first of a two-game slide for the Patriots. Yes. Yes. 10-2 after next week, the Patriots will be.”

Today:

“If you recall, last week I said the Patriots were gonna lose, the first of a two-game losing streak. The Eagles have had 9+ days to prepare. Patriots played on Sunday night, bit of a short week. The Gronk injury. Banged up offense. No options for Tom Brady. Little bit of a trap here. Eagles win. Eagles win. These guys don’t get up for anything. If they’re still human and there’s one game they’re going to get up for, it’s a Patriots game on the road. These guys still have pride… now they’re also probably playing for some contracts. I’m gonna need my own theme music if they win.”

I have already request Macklemore’s Downtown. Hit it:

Never a doubt.

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21 Responses

  1. Bold call and all due props but that game was F-I-X-E-D. Blocked punt TD as half ends + Brady pick-6 as they’re walking in for the lead + Brady pick after trick play gets 40 yards = fix. One of those things might happen on the level. Two probably can’t. Three? Never if they were trying.

    1. how do you set those fixes up genius? alot of moving parts there, would love to hear how that all works.

      people like you dont deserve to be called human, you’re more in the ape category.

  2. God, if the Eagles win two in a row…Kyle will begin to build a big clubhouse on Delusional Island. Nothing “gangster” about Bradford.

  3. Me and my no-talent daughter are hosting Quizzo tonite at the Frank Farley Service Plaza on the AC Expressway.

  4. ……………………„„-~^^~„-„„_
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    …………\„-* . . . . .| : : : : : : : :’|
    …………/ . . . . . . ‘| : : : : : : : 😐
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  5. That game last night never happened. Did you notice how no one was in the stands in the 3rd quarter? False flag!

    1. HAHAHAHA

      seriously though 9/11 was an inside job. the cia wired 100k to muhammad atta – look that one up.

      1. Does the CIA keep their accounting documentation on one of the government websites?

        I do think the game last night was a false flag though. All of the players were actors who keep showing up at all the false flag events. They’re the same guys (and girls) like that female ref that Hoodie had his hands on.

  6. NICE TO SEE JENKINS FINALLY CATCH THE BALL AND KELLY FINALLY STOP USING DEMARCUS MURRAY SO MUCH. HE STINKS.

    THIS COULD BE THE TURNING POINT FOR US. WE CAN WIN OUT AND GET INTO THE PLAYOFFS AT 9-7. THEN WHO KNOWS WHAT HAPPENS.

    WE’RE BACK IN IT!

    1. demarco doesn’t stink – he sucks. thats one step further. too slow to do much besides run in wide open holes for dallas.

  7. These pats never stood a chance they should have utilized their 3 RB’s more. NFC East 1st place by years end. I love how Demarco left the locker room in record time after the game.

  8. The Eagles scored 35 STRAIGHT points, not “unanswered” points. If the game had ended 35-14, those points would have gone unanswered; but the Patriots DID answer, scoring 14 more…Get it together, boner boy.

  9. Like I wrote on the original story, get over yourself. Picking one lone long shot says nothing. It is low risk high reward. Unless you can make a habit out of it you are just a blind squirrel that got lucky. Stop smelling your own asshole.

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