Evening Coaching Rumor Roundup: Payton, Gase and Gruden

If that doesn’t sound like the oddest law firm on Earth, I don’t know what to tell you.

Sean Payton

Paul Domowitch is reporting that the Birds will indeed pursue Sean Payton if he goes… marching on from the Saints. Of course, Pro Football Talk notes that wrangling Payton away from the Saints could cost a second round pick… which the Eagles don’t have because they sent it to the Rams along with Nick Foles for hot stock tip of the week Sam Bradford.

Payton headwear status: visor

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Adam Gase

Gase was the case (really just wanted to say that, don’t know why). According to ESPN’s Dianna Marie Russini, Bears offensive coordinator Adam Gase will interview with the Eagles and Dolphins over the coming days. No surprise here as Gase, with his relative success making Jay Cutler not awful and with the Broncos before that, seems to be the hot name of the week. You could make a… strong case for Gase.

And then there’s this completely inane Gase-Eagles connection:

This is not interesting. You know what is interesting? Gase’s cousin’s sister’s brother’s uncle’s brother-in-law’s wife is the aunt of Gase himself.

Gase headwear status: all over the map

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Jon Gruden

Eyyyyyyyyyy get a little Spider 2 Y Banana up in here. Let’s throw some shit at this fan, see if it sticks.

NFL.com podcaster Dave Dameshek notes that Jon Gruden is making himself available:

Similarly, I got an interesting Gruden phone call from one of the same sources who, back in October, first mentioned that Kelly and Lurie had basically both had enough of each other. They are once-removed from both the organization and Gruden, but the unsolicited nature of the exchange was certainly interesting. If I were the sort of anonymous rumor mongering shit slinger present across Twitter, I might assign this 2 laces out of 5– not nothing, but hardly verifiable at the moment.

Gruden headwear status: wispy doll hair

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  • Observer January 3, 2016 at 10:34 pm

    Gruden would be a home run hire, IMO. I think he’s been able to study the league while learning from his experience. Watching him in his QB camp episodes you can see he still loves the game and how well he can coach a young guy.

  • PAUL JOLOVITZ FAN CLUB PRESIDENT January 3, 2016 at 11:39 pm

    I got a blow job from my cousin over the holidays when we were drunk. At first i was kinda creeped out but I think now I am OK with it. I wont see her again until our annual family reunion in June so for now I will just have to stick to my usual peanut butter with the dog routine. Crazy how me and my cousin are now so much more than just distant relatives. Happy new years everyone.

    • That cousin's name? January 4, 2016 at 12:16 am

      Brian Dawkins

  • CHUCKYBOT 1.0 January 3, 2016 at 11:40 pm


  • G r u d e n's act wears thin on the players very quickly January 4, 2016 at 1:35 am

    The players don’t trust him. He is never going to work for a team unless he has 100% total control. Remember he thought that M a n z i e l should have been an early first round pick. You don’t want to let G r u d e n within 100 miles of the draft war room.

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