Morning Wood: Light Stimulation, Dark Phantasies

Photo: Phillies Twitter

Today is a Star Wars day in Phillie-land. There’s the light side and the dark side. Let’s start with the dark side, you Sith fucks, you.



Just a day after the news that Jimmy Rollins was signed to a minor league deal by the White Sox, we learned that Phillies (ACTUAL, FULL-TIME!) manager Pete Mackanininininininininin (I promise I won’t do that all season… maybe) will have the talk with Ryan Howard and inform the former slugger that he’s essentially a role player on a bad team. Jim Salisbury, please:

“We’re going to talk,” Mackanin said. “I think he knows (the subject of the conversation). He’s read and seen and heard what I’ve said. He knows that he’s got a challenge ahead of him and he has to compete for those extra at-bats against left-handers. I think he’s ready for it and I think he’s willing to show that he deserves to be in there every day.”

Howard will meet with the media today for what is likely to be his final spring training media sesh at Bright House Field.

Even worse for your memories, Cliff Lee’s career is likely over. The bow tie man himself, lollipop munchkin Ken Rosenthal represents the Clifton Guild:

A truly, truly swift ending to the careers of Cliff Lee and Roy Halladay. In the span of just two short seasons, each went from the top of their games to retirement. Farewell, my steed.



Light side

Actually, there really isn’t one. I just liked my “Sith fucks” line so much that I crowbarred this section in here.

Full squad workouts begin today. So I guess that’s something. As you can see in the picture at the top of this post, big boy GM Matt Klentak addressed the team, which included Maikel Franco, who didn’t show up yesterday despite the optional reporting day being a sort of implied mandatory. Todd Zolecki writes this installment:

“I’m not going to be critical of anybody who doesn’t come early,” Mackanin said. “If we wanted guys to come two weeks ago, we should have a longer Spring Training. He’s in for a long season. He played winter ball. Whenever he gets here, as long as he’s here when he’s supposed to be, I’m fine with it. I’m not going to nitpick that. He’s not that kind of guy, but if he turns lazy and he doesn’t work like he always does, then I have an issue. But he’s going to work hard.”

Franco is within his rights not to arrive until Tuesday’s workout. In fact, according to the Collective Bargaining Agreement, players are not required to report to Spring Training more than 33 days before the start of the regular season. That would make the deadline March 1.

But Franco’s absence Monday raised eyebrows among some in the organization, because he is a young player entering his first full season in the big leagues and because the Phillies have such high hopes for him. No player in recent memory has waited until the morning of the team’s first full-squad workout to report to camp. Jimmy Rollins, Bobby Abreu and Ryan Howard were often the last players to arrive in camp, but always at least a day before the first workout.

Without being all hot take-y, this is a bad look. Franco is, for all intents and purposes, the cornerstone of the Phillies franchise (for now, at least). This is a vet move. It’s a Jimmy Rollins move. But as you read, not even J-Roll™ pushed the boundaries to their limit. There’s nothing positive to take from this. However, at the very least, Franco is now in camp and we can all be reminded of the fact that he can hit a baseball very hard and very far.

Finally, I’m willing to give the Phillies’ social media person a fresh start. They’re using Emojis now, so there’s some improvement already:

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31 Responses

  1. I’m still here. For now. Until Trump kicks me out of the country because I’m not white and christian.

    1. Nobody is guna get kicked out unless they are here illegally! Illegally… that means they are not supposed to be here anyway!!!!! idiots. Trump wants to secure our borders because liberal pussies let our borders become weak. And if you can name ONE THING that muslims have done to benefit society I will stop saying they should be outlawed.

  2. I never comment on this thing but do read the (mostly horrible) comments from time to time so here you go BOB
    It’s really not difficult to find all the value that Muslim communities have contributed to society nor is it that difficult to find all the problems that white Chrisitans have contributed to society. You like posting on the Internet, you can use it to look things up too in case you didn’t know…
    Oh and by the way I am a Caucasian, Christian, Lutheran Pastor just in case you were worried about me being one of those “awful people”. Being scared of the world, of hate, of other people happens sometimes but being ignorant and bigoted is not ok as a person of faith, an agnostic, an atheist, or an American.

    1. ok Rev… I read your little article. Extremely liberal, and very farcical. Flying machines date back even further than the Mesopotamians. WORKING flying machines were however invented by white Christians. Automobiles, computers, radio, television…. all white Christians. Blacks gave us George Washington Carver, Hendrix, Chuck Berry, MLK… many other great things. Asians gave us martial arts, meditation, Nintendo. Ju’s gave us great comedian and filmmakers…… muslims gave us terrorists and poverty and abused women.

      1. I’m trying to figure out if someone is this dull and hateful or if BOB is just really really good at trolling.

      2. According to Samuel Clemens, aka Mark Twain, who was a devout christian:

        “Ours is a terrible religion. The fleets of the world could swim in spacious comfort in the innocent blood it has spilled.”

  3. America has not provided the same thing? The guy in Kalamzoo sure liked white to me, as did the guy in Colorado, or South Carolina, or Arizona, or countless other places. Where is your profound fear of nationalist militias or have you chosen to forget the 90’s? You have an Internet connection obviously so you can choose to use it to actually grow as a human being or you can use it to reinforce you prejudice and anger and fear. If that’s what you want to do then it’s your choice.

  4. Gotta say though, the way you really managed to focus your prejudice little by little in that last post is quite nice. Call me a liberal all you want, I’ll call you anti-American and anti-Christian. Enjoy your white pride though, you’ve got lots to be proud of from people who aren’t you.

    1. Um as a reverend shouldn’t you be focusing on your Sunday morning sermons instead of coming on here insulting people with your back handed, condescending comments? Shouldn’t you be turning the other cheek? You fucking hypocrite

      1. Or better yet Rev, repatriate yourself to Saudi Arabia, you know one of those places that prohibit Christian churches of any denomination. Try plying your alleged Christian Lutheran Pastorial trade there. So, let’s see…what’s not on the list of Islam inventions?

        Religious liberty

        You want that mindset to infest our nation, Rev? It will put you out of a job!

  5. Pete: “hey, big piece of fucking monkey shot kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk machine–get the fuck out…and take your whore white wife you”…………………

  6. It’s typical of Republicans to look at the San Bernardino shooting as the worst thing in the history of the world, because the shooter was Muslim and was attracted to Isil, and to completely ignore what happened last weekend in Michigan. Or Sandy Hook. Or Charleston. Or Columbine. Or the thousands of other mass shootings we have in this country.

    The common thread is the easy availability of guns in this country. Crazy people can get their hands on guns in this country. Sometimes crazy people are white. Sometimes they are black. Sometimes they are brown. Some are Christian, some are Juuuuu, some are Muslim. The specific reason for their decision to murder people is irrelevant. The fact that they have such easy access to the tools to commit these atrocities is. Republicans do not care about that. To them, mass violence is just one of those things that happens.It’s sickening and disgusting.

      1. Terror and gun violence are separate and equally important issues. We haven’t had a full scale terror attack on this country in 2001. Meanwhile, people die everyday because of gun violence.

        One issues causes people to want to kill anyone with the wrong kind of name or skin color. The other is met with a “meh.” America.

        1. Fort Hood was a terrorist attack. How about the underwear bomber? If he wasn’t sweating, that’s another attack. Plus the Paki guy in NY with the propane IED car bomb that failed.

          All under Obama.

          1. Also PJ, these attack failures were not because of police/govt intervention, it was because of one minor glitch in their systems. Sweat. Faulty igniters. Can’t give Barack Hussein credit for thwarting them.

      2. Wrong, it was the Zionists along with their Neocon puppets, and their comrades from PNAC(Project for a New American Century).

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