The Redskins Want To Build a Stadium Surrounded By a A MOAT

Never mind that the Redskins can’t sell out their current home, FedEx Field (which is less than 20 years old)– it’s time for a new one. On 60 Minutes last night, just after Lesley Stahl displayed a fundamental misunderstanding of encryption, CBS showed images for a proposed new home for the ‘Skins, and holy shit is it ridiculous.

Never mind the stadium itself, Danish architecture firm Bjarke Ingels Group (or, BIG, because of course) has rendered a new FOOTBALL EXPERIENCE for our NFC East neighbors to the south complete with a moat, people climbing the outside of the stadium for some reason, and rollerbladers. Oh, and a surfer. It’s like they got high, watched Point Break, and decided that it would serve as the perfect backdrop for mediocre football.

Redskins_Stadium

Sure, the stadium will host a football team that can’t sell it out, but what’s more important is MOAT SURFING. IN D.C. IN WINTER. AND SUNBATHING. IN D.C. IN THE FUCKING WINTER. Next to what will most likely turn into the biggest latrine this side of the sinks at whatever they’re calling the E Center these days.

“Mmmmm, yes,” Dan Snyder says to himself, looking at the rendering. “We can throw all the protesters in the moat and then climb the wall in victory. Or just drown some Indians.”

Watch the thoroughly ridiculous video after the jump.

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19 Responses

    1. Just got back from Clearwater, what an incredible sporting event. Phils spring training… Awesome. I had coffee with Jim Salsberry this morning, what an amazing talent he is. I love dick.

      1. Jay Wright was on csn this morning and he said he thinks it’s crazy to get up so early in the morning to do coaches vs cancer. What an asshole, he needs to be fired immediately

  1. Yeah, but mediocre football is still better than the sorry ass Eagles! Ahh! Ha! Ha! Ha! How many sellouts has the Linc had lately? Hew Boy!!!

      1. Me neither.

        And btw, things are getting very testy over here @94wip, between program director Spike Eskin, and Josh Innes.

        Something about Spike complaining about the Josh Innes continuous sliding ratings, and Josh complaining about Hollis Thomas, and his constant stuttering, and a lack of a vocabulary.

        I’ll keep you guys posted.

  2. Nothing says football in the winter in Washington DC more than water skiing.

  3. After watching the video, does Arnold Jr know that American Football fans don’t tailgate on the fucking football field?

  4. The eagles are about to sign Nolan Carroll to a 1 year deal, the Flyers play a pretty big game tonight against a team their chasing for the wildcard, the NCAA tournament starts in two days (play-ins are tonight). Are we just taking the day off boys?

  5. My favorite part of that rendering is that the game is going on on the field but they only put a dozen people in the stands watching it. At least they’re being realistic.

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