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The Redskins Want To Build a Stadium Surrounded By a A MOAT
By Jim Adair
Published:
Never mind that the Redskins can’t sell out their current home, FedEx Field (which is less than 20 years old)– it’s time for a new one. On 60 Minutes last night, just after Lesley Stahl displayed a fundamental misunderstanding of encryption, CBS showed images for a proposed new home for the ‘Skins, and holy shit is it ridiculous.
Never mind the stadium itself, Danish architecture firm Bjarke Ingels Group (or, BIG, because of course) has rendered a new FOOTBALL EXPERIENCE for our NFC East neighbors to the south complete with a moat, people climbing the outside of the stadium for some reason, and rollerbladers. Oh, and a surfer. It’s like they got high, watched Point Break, and decided that it would serve as the perfect backdrop for mediocre football.
Sure, the stadium will host a football team that can’t sell it out, but what’s more important is MOAT SURFING. IN D.C. IN WINTER. AND SUNBATHING. IN D.C. IN THE FUCKING WINTER. Next to what will most likely turn into the biggest latrine this side of the sinks at whatever they’re calling the E Center these days.
“Mmmmm, yes,” Dan Snyder says to himself, looking at the rendering. “We can throw all the protesters in the moat and then climb the wall in victory. Or just drown some Indians.”
Watch the thoroughly ridiculous video after the jump.
When he's not writing about sports here or ranting about them on Twitter, Jim is probably watching X-Files on Netflix or drinking a beer somewhere. Jim has nothing against hockey, it's just not his style. He once met Duce Staley at a Sixers game.