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Today In Former Philly Sports Execs Do TV

By Kyle Scott

Published: Mar 4th, 2016 · 3:21 PM EST

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As you know, I love to keep tabs on formers players and execs. It seems I have an unhealthy obsession with separation. Ergo, I retain a parchment scroll of former girlfriends and their current husbands, wives and boyfriends just to make sure I’m more successful than all of their significant others.*

*Is he kidding? Is he not? The part about the wives? The part about the parchment? BOTH? YOU’LL NEVER KNOW.

In this case, we turn our attention toward lumpy jolly fellow Adam Aron and Twitterer to the agents Joe Banner. Aron, the former Sixers CEO and still part-owner, is now the CEO of AMC movie theaters, where he keeps quite possibly the lamest Twitter account (@CEOAdam) of all-time with the sort of gee-whiz marketing awe he offended Sixers fans with:

He was on Bloomberg today talking about AMC’s purchase of movie theater chain Carmike, which I suppose is a more impressive purchase than that time he drove to wherever the fuck Pennsylvania to buy the court Wilt Chamberlain scored his 100 points on because he thought Sixers fans would actually give a shit about such ridiculous wonderment. I’d keep going but JESUS CHRIST HE HAS ACCESS:

Also on the tubes today – or at least streaming video – former Jeffrey Lurie sidecar Banner, who is apparently doing punditry in front of the camera now.

This post has absolutely no point. I’m just bored and like to make fun of people substantially wealthier than I. The Aron video is here. The Banner video is after the jump.