Chase Utley Is Selling His House, Which Allen Iverson Used to Own

For real. Even with very nice houses, the pictures on the listing sites usually look like garbage. This looks like a damn magazine spread. [Editor’s note: High-end houses like this get professional photographers, not realtors, to take the pictures. Want to sell a mid-level house? Get a professional photographer – or even a videographer – and it will crush the competition. That concludes your real estate advice for the day.]

The 8,141 square foot house is going for a cool $3,495,000 and comes with six bedrooms, six full bathrooms (and 2 half-baths), multiple fireplaces, a three-car garage, and a bedroom where Chase Utley used to have sex. I guess I buried the lede there.

Here’s some more from the Gladwyne home’s listing:

Privately nestled on 2 pristine acres among Gladwyne’s grandest estates, this custom-built, COMPLETELY GUT-RENOVATED home breaks the traditional Colonial mold … A meticulous top-to-bottom renovation & layout transformation by the current owner, created a sleek open California-style layout providing utmost comfort, luxury & functionality …

Beyond the gated entry await sprawling, full-regraded grounds beautified with new lawn, plantings, trees & irrigation. The gorgeous exterior is enhanced with new windows & new upper/lower decks. A brand new Hamptons-style saltwater swimming pool, pool pavilion & play structure assure outdoor pleasure for all ages. The dramatic 2-story Reception Hall with lightly-distressed herringbone wood floors, new wood staircase & huge Palladian window introduces a sun-drenched interior graced by lovely earth tones, custom moldings, and all-new flooring. Breathtaking openness extends into the LR with a gas fireplace & DR served by a butler’s pantry. Both rooms are brightened by huge Palladian windows. Chef & family will love spending time in the top-of-the-line kitchen, opened up & redesigned with new white Medallion soft-close cabinetry, soapstone counters, a large center island with searing & stainless steel appliances.

“Chef and family.” They ain’t even playin’ that someone is doing their own cooking in that kitchen. Here’s a short list of what the home includes:

• The room where Chase Utley slept
• The toilet in which Chase Utley pooped
• The pool in which Chase Utley peed
• The mirror vanity which Chase Utley used to perfectly shape his soul patch
• The refrigerator which Chase Utley stood in front of, maybe slightly hungover, farting

Check out more images after the jump and daydream about what Chase did in each one of those rooms.