NBC had its on-air personalities and that fame-seeking fraud Johnny Quinn Tweet out this image informing viewers that the start of 31st Summer Olympiad is just one month away. Rio looks great in the picture. Let’s see how it’s doing in the real world.

Rio de Janeiro’s hospitals running out of medicine

Rio de Janeiro’s medical system has been bordering collapse for months, though the situation has deteriorated as the city and state government’s have poured millions into Olympic facilities at the expense of public services. In January, for example, the Brazilian outlet O Globo spoke to a woman who had spent two months looking for accessible medical care, taking her broken arm to various family clinics and finding severe shortages. “Family clinics have no remedies, no anti-inflammatory medications, no remedy for hypertension, nothing,” she protested.

Rio waters infested with super bacteria weeks before Olympics

Super bacteria was discovered lurking in the waterways where the Olympics will be staged, the latest peril in the litany of health and security concerns plaguing the games.

Athletes and tourists who will soon flock to Rio de Janiero’s shores risk exposure to the deadly, drug-resistant bacteria at five of Rio’s most popular beach destinations, including the locations of several marquee water sports events, according to recent studies.

The super bacteria has been found to cause urinary, gastrointestinal, pulmonary and bloodstream infections as well as meningitis and, according to CDC studies, contributes to death in up to half of infected patients.

Rio prostitutes offer special Olympics pricing

Sex workers in the city’s notorious Vila Mimosa zone claim that, despite high expectations in the run-up to the football tournament, business during the event actually fell substantially.

Now, with a month to go before the games, they say they have prepared a flyer in English inviting Olympic athletes to the red light area, near Rio’s city centre, offering cut price deals.

The seedy leaflet says 30 minutes of sex is 40 reals (£9) – down 48 per cent on the normal price of 75 reals (£17).

Olympic sailboats being stained brown

A new pollution problem has surfaced in Guanabara Bay, the venue for sailing at the Rio de Janeiro Olympics.

Sailors complained Monday about an oil slick that turned white boats brown with crews in the water practicing for the Olympics, which begin on Aug. 5.

“We’ve never seen anything like this. It was all over the place,” said Finnish sailor Camilla Cedercreutz. “There was no way you could avoid it.”

Cedercreutz said the slick filled part of the bay on Sunday, staining her boat from bow to stern.

“This is only our second time in Rio,” said Cedercreutz. “We’ve heard it was really bad. You get mad because it shouldn’t be like this anywhere. It shouldn’t be this dirty. But there’s nothing we can do about it.”

Rowers will paddle through shit en route to glory

RIO DE JANEIRO’S waterways are about as clean as a dirty toilet bowl—raw sewage literally flows into them every day. So in preparation for the 2016 Summer Olympics, US rowers, sailors, and swimmers are getting creative to protect themselves against pathogens lurking in the water.

The latest measure? The US Olympic Rowing Team revealed earlier this week that they will wear a newly-developed unisuit complete with an “antimicrobial finish” while they train in Rio’s Rodrigo de Freitas Lagoon, where recent Associated Press investigations have found virus counts thousands of times higher than federal safety limits.

Welcome to Rio, you’re not safe here

Brazilian emergency responders have a message for travelers arriving to the city just ahead of the 2016 Olympics: “Welcome to hell”.

The photo, shared across social media platforms, is generating concern over whether or not Brazil is ready to host the Olympic Games – exacerbated by ongoing trouble stemming from the Zika virus plaguing the country.

And thus kicks off our Olympics coverage. Hit the music, Bob!

Fun fact: I tear up almost on cue at that music.