Gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood morning, human beings! How was that for a debut? Are we sufficiently hard yet or just semi-hard? You need me to take you the rest of the way? OK, I’ll tug you along.

The first thing I’d advise is for us to not get carried away– that was one, fun win against the Browns, but… it was against the Browns. We must have perspective on things. That said, I did not think when Villanova won the National Championship in Houston last year that the Eagles would be competing for a Super Bowl in the same building in less than a year. But, it looks like another pilgrimage from Philly to Texas is in order, because the Eagles are going to the Super Bowl.

To the Droppings!

 

Carson Wentz

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What a day. I’m not even sure if there’s another way to put it. More impressive than just Wentz himself– Crusher Doug put Carson in a position to succeed. He protected him with short passes and running plays early, and a balanced playbook overall. Without treating him with total kid gloves and asking him to just manage the game, Pederson let Wentz air it out only when it was appropriate against a PUTRID Browns secondary. For real, look at their positioning on most of Wentz’s completions– they’re saggier than the canisters on a tree hugger in a tight tank top:


And then there were those touchdown passes. These:

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Fucking hot.

Donovan McNabb was a great quarterback, and I’m sure he’s made more than a few of those throws, but they’re difficult to recall. I remember slot passes to Chad Lewis – Chad Chair in Madden – rollouts, and that patented shovel pass. God knows VickFolesSanchezBradford threw maybe only a handful of this sort of flying sex. Meanwhile, Carson Wentz threw two for the first two touchdowns of his career. These are the throws we see Aaron Rodgers, Tom Brady, Tony Romo and sometimes even Eli Manning make on TV. We’re not used to this. We’re used to touchdown passes forced into dangerously tight spots, rollouts to the tight end, that stupid mesh crossing route, or long bombs where the receiver YACs the rest of the way.

I’m not the only one who thinks this– so does Jason Peters:

“I said he can throw it just as good as [Aaron] Rodgers on the run, on the move. He’s got good release, he’s real accurate on the run,” Peters said. “That’s who he reminds me of, is Rodgers when he gets to moving, the way he darts the ball on the run.

“He has it. All we’ve got to do is keep the pocket clean, and he’s going to throw it to the open guy. Point blank. He’s going to eat ’em up.”

All of that said, Wentz still showed some of his rawness. He failed to recognize his checkdown receiver a few times. He seemed a tad slow going through his progressions. He still overthrows receivers on occasion. He also threw into the hands of linemen, what, 3-4 times? Maybe this was the slow release Carl Nassib was talking about– maybe the Malvern Prep grad was onto something. But mostly I think the size, speed and awareness of the defensive line was the biggest jump from D-II whatever-the-fuck Carson played in and the NFL. Throws are throws. Routes are routes. But I imagine Wentz has never faced a line of that size, where they not only try to tackle you but also get in your passing lane. All of that stuff can be fixed, and he’ll get better as he adjusts. But his poise, confidence, and throwing ability are already there.

 

Crusher Doug

You think he’s wondering how he got here?

I was HIGHLY impressed with Doug Pederson yesterday. His playbook was well-balanced. Again, the Browns stink and we can’t forget that, but he offered up an excellent mix of passing routes, put Wentz in a position to succeed, and didn’t get away from the run. He also displayed BALLS in going for it on fourth down, up five, and getting it. And, bonus!, the Eagles almost successfully ran a two-minute drill to end the second quarter without any gaffs. It’s like Pederson took the best of Andy Reid with him – the short, quick passes, utilization of the tight end, and balanced attack – and left the worst of him – poor clock management, surly demeanor, and devastating obesity – behind. Again, the Browns, but I feel surprisingly good about Crusher Doug so far. And he’s quite forthcoming in his press conference. I mean, ask Andy Reid or Chip Kelly about how many plays they script, and they’ll just say something like “more than 1.” Ask Doug Pederson… and he’ll tell you exactly how many and on which downs he uses them. He was so happy and eager to tell you how he did it after the game that I thought he was going to have an Eagles PR rep pass out the playbook to the media. Now, if you’ll look down toward the bottom of your page, you’ll see the two touchdown passes and the options the QB has at the line of scrimmage. On the next page, our run formations and no-huddle plays.

 

Postgame Live

What a mess the new show is. What made PGL great was the rapport between Barkann, Gov, Diddy and V-Heb or Westbrook. It was the perfect mix of host, superfan, analyst and former player. Now, with Westbrook out and Gov actually more useless in his new Rendell Rules role – he sits across the studio and is just the old guy ranting, ostensibly ruling on some previous argument – the show is completely devoid of chemistry and the format just feels stale. Barrett Brooks is OK and Seth Joyner blows chunks. For real, is this is the show’s version of a fun take, it’s gonna be a long season:

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And what the hell did they do with the shot of the players walking into the locker room and Barkann screaming like a madman? Did the Eagles squash that since it usually just featured Barkann railing on them after bad losses?

 

Tight ends

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The fact that Carson City’s first completion was a back shoulder fade to a tight end bodes well for Zach Ertz this year.

 

So Camden

It’s not a game in Philly until a local neighborhood has a literal trash fire.

 

“Wentz”

I was worried about this sort of thing. May I recommend a Carson City shirt?

 

Stat of the week

 

Madden ratings

I, for one, applaud EA Sports giving real-time Madden commentary:

 

Beau

 

 

The women in his life

RG III’s mom called to check on him during the post-game presser conference. But his bae, seen here thanks to my friend and his creep shots, was there in person to comfort the increasingly uninspiring quarterback. Girl:

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Photo credit: James Lang-USA TODAY Sports

 

Jason Peters

https://twitter.com/JoshPaunil/status/775318640635809792

Bonus points here for saving Ryan Mathews, but did Peters miss the meeting where they said Carson Wentz was going to have a hard count? Peters jumped twice, officially, but looked like he could’ve been flagged two or three other times. Hell, even Wentz got a false start at one point. Can we, uh, work on that?

 

I love this

It’s McNabb-level nerdy, but Wentz has already gone full gospel nerd so you gotta embrace it:

 

Ouch

Apparently he was drunk and hit his head.

 

Jordan Matthews

In his post-game presser he immediately said he didn’t want to talk about the past – not throw Sam Bradford under the bus – and then he gushed about HOW FUCKING GREAT THE FUTURE IS. I love this unintentional digs at shitty Sam Bradford. It’s almost as good as him blowing up the cameraman:

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Did anyone ever check on this guy?

 

Bears next week. Fly now.