# Here’s Another Carson Wentz Hater

I may have to start keeping a list.

When the bubble bursts on these rookie quarterbacks, it will be much greater than a chewing gum bubble. Even greater than a helium balloon popping at a birthday party. Indeed, when things take an inevitable turn for Wentz and Prescott, it’ll be like a weather balloon bursting in the sky and mercifully falling back down to earth.

When the bubble bursts on these rookie quarterbacks, it will be much greater than a chewing gum bubble. This is potentially something I would fire Jim for writing. First graders have written more eloquent prose in string-bound books about their favorite room in the house. I like the basement because it is cold in the summer. The end. But let’s continue:

But just like Prescott has benefitted from the best offensive line in football, Wentz plays with a defense that has allowed a total of 20 points this year. He’s also not taking many chances on his throws. Wentz is averaging 6.86 yards in the air per pass thrown, according to Football Outsiders. Last week, his two passes that went longer than 20 yards in the air fell incomplete, according to NFL’s Next Gen Stats. Twelve of his 23 completions against Pittsburgh came at or behind the line of scrimmage.

Of course, none of this really matters, because as long as the Eagles keep winning, that Carson Wentz hype train will keep rollin’.

No argument that the Steelers’ game was Wentz’s least impressive passing effort. But the notion that he is just a game manager is completely wrong. He has thrown many perfect strikes, deep, across the field, or into a tight spot, over the first three games. Do we forget his Week 1 touchdown passes to Jordan Matthews and Nelson Agholor?

Do we forget his Week 2 touchdown passes to Matthews and Agholor?*

Photo credit: Mike DiNovo-USA TODAY Sports

Do we forget this 50-yard pass – on a roughing the passer penalty! – that DGB couldn’t hold onto even though it was in both hands and pressed against his body?

Yes, I know there are many plays not accurately reflected in the numbers – it’s not just unique to Carson Wentz – but he’s been incredible despite these misses. His throwing ability has been a strength, not a weakness. If anything, he’s missed some checkdown receivers because he spent too much time locking on to his number one receiver. Sometimes good things are too good to be true. Other times, they’re great. The need to shred Wentz (and Prescott) sounds more like the selfish desires of someone who hasn’t actually watched them play rather than insightful football commentary.

*Not actually touchdowns because Matthews’ and Agholor’s hands briefly reverted to their canonical stone form.

H/T to reader KPayne

### 32 Responses

1. I don’t think Carson cares, he knows how much the Philly fans love him.

1. Captain Obvious says:

It’s almost 240 months to day: Wednesday, September 14, 2016. The site is Broad and Cecil B. Moore on Temple’s campus. Puck drop, as always, is called for 5:53 PM. I get there at 5:59. The first thing I see is the DJ. He’s wearing a full Sega warmup. It’s blue suede. Really. I later learn this is one half of Lunch Money Quizzo.

This one time, I went to my friend’s apartment and they were playing NHL ’95. We sat down, and played for hours. Gave each other funny names which we would now call handles, drank beers, smoked a little weed, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah >> insert tweet copy and paste here <> insert pic of loser hipster here<< blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

So my boy Glockzilla takes the 2002 and 2003 championships, beaver squeezer was not happy about that and make a stunning comeback taking the title in 2004. Man those were epic Sega battles over boxes of half eaten pizza and empty bottles of Zima. blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

These days, the young’ens play and us OGs have to show up to school them. Sure our thumbs are a little slower, our ability to hold down our rumple minze is not what it used to be, and it will never be the same since the passing of our great friend – mediocre chicken choker who died when his heart monitor actually did stop working on 1/1/00 because of the Y2K bug. blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. So we tossed the hooker's lifeless body down the trash chute and never spoke of it again.

We will be back next Wednesday, to do it all over again. Because that’s who we are. And that…. Is what we do. (drops the mic).

Kyle, 10 cents a word right?

1. DAN KLAUSNER says:

What the fuck man. This was my post for next week. Word for word.

2. Kyle is definitely more than a little rebulican says:

Awesome stuff bro

1. Brad says:

He’s also more than a little gay.

3. Oafrah Winfrey says:

You get the Anthony’s well done well done pie.

4. Your Mom says:

Well done! I actually enjoyed this waaaaaay more than Dan’s original article. Kyle, hire the Captain!

1. Sal Pal says:

I agree

2. Rob Ellis says:

Natalie Egenolf – hot or not?

1. Never heard of her says:

But just googles, and yes, she can get the D

1. Let give it up for autocorrect says:

*just googled

2. The wtf feeling I get in the gym when I see that 1 dude who's always on 10 different machines at once walks in says:

Eagles need to bench kelce after the bye for wisenshjshski

1. That 1 DUDE WHO'S ALWAYS ON 10 DIFFERENT MACHINES AT ONCE says:

Do you even lift bro?

1. I tend to stick to the ellipticals, but I can assure you I never miss a post workout shower.

1. Old guys stay naked as long as possible in the locker room says:

Haha spuds

2. Got to says:

If u don’t, before long you’ll start looking like the Cuz and wonder wtf happened

2. v.i. warshawski says:

I qgree

3. Jonathan Jones is gay, hence his name is Jonathan not John. Plus, he doesn’t know much about the NFL and the QB position. From day one in training camp, it was obvious that Wentz would be a star. His footwork was incredible, his arm strength was elite, his head fakes and pump fakes are outstanding, and his vision and control of the line and playcalls is unprecedented. From the very first time he threw along side Bradford the trained eye could see Wentz’s superiority.

1. Pardon me Mr. Donkey Dick, lest anyone think you are for real…

2. I take my boy Dak anyday over that honky ginger. Just look at the way Dak moves around the backfield in those tight blue pants….mmmm especially when you can see that big fat dick of his buldging through…… mmmmmm

4. Hextall's Glasses says:

Whatever. The WENTZ WAGON is moving too fast to hear the haters. Suck it you dumb idiots.

5. C u u z says:

C’mon Bo! Dats a totah violation! Wentz passes the eye test.

6. Jamie Apody's 8 incher says:

EAGLES

1. Please, we all know you are not 8 inches. Eyton Shander has a pretty huge dick, but not you.

7. Jamie Apody's 8 incher says:

ever hear my voice? ever check my package? it’s all that baby

8. John Riggins says:

It’s really sickening the way all you poor pathetic Eagles fans and the media are constantly blowing Wentz! You already have him in the Hall Of Fame and already planned a damn Super Bowl parade! Sickening!!! I can’t wait for the losses to start mounting up like they always do! Then all the bridges will be full of jumpers! Ahh! Ha! Ha! Ha! Eagles Suck!!!

1. Connor McGregor says:

Who the FUCK is this guy???

9. Hexy's Hairplugs says:

Anyone else been inside Kiera Missinelli?

1. Every person everywhere. says:

Me.

10. hugh jassoul says:

“this is potentially something I would fire Jim for writing” – Non-issue. Jim only cuts-and=pastes stuff other people wrote.

11. Richard says:

Here’s Jonathan Jones of SI.com: You are a Clown at best, You never played in the NFL and you have the Nerve to critize Wentz and others. These young ment could well turn out to be another Tom Brady. These men are winners and you are a Loser.

Comments are closed.