Eagles

Can We Talk About Tony Romo’s Awkward Poem?

By Kyle Scott

Published: Nov 16th, 2016 · 9:31 AM EST

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OK maybe I’m an absolute asshole, but what the F was this? Yeah, he’s being classy, but when in the history of sports has someone needed to read a prepared statement to say that they were cool with taking their demotion? He’s more upset about becoming a highly-paid backup than Hillary Clinton was to not become the first female president. I thought he was going to retire at multiple points during this. I don’t even hate Romo. I think he’s always been somewhat underrated and he seems like a good dude, who played hide and go seek at his bachelor party. He didn’t even ruin Carrie Underwood for me. But this, what, what is this? I’m confused. Genuinely perplexed. I don’t know what to think. He is being LAUDED for his concession speech because it’s not all about him, and yet he gave a 6-minute soliloquy literally making it all about him. Yeah, it sucks. I get why it sucks. He should absolutely hold a press conference to show a peaceful transition of power. But a prepared statement? This?

“Seasons are fleeting, games become more precious, chances for success diminish. Your potential successor has arrived, injured two years in a row, and now in the mid 30s. The press is whispering, everyone has doubts.”

I need a bath. What was that? It’s like the macho guy in a creative writing class suddenly stood up and read from his shockingly vivid journal. Ah, bro, this was supposed to be humor piece using alliteration.

I’m just flummoxed. This doesn’t happen in sports. He wasn’t cut. He became a backup, who may very well return to the starting role if Dak collapses under the weight of his own success or gets hurt. Like, there’s a real chance Tony Romo starts a playoff game this season, and then when he blows it in the fourth quarter, this video will be used to ridicule him. I’m just going to say it– it was fucking weird.