Bleacher Report’s Stellar Joel Embiid Feature Hurts Today

Photo Credit: Bill Streicher-USA TODAY Sports

Just two days after Joel Embiid’s season was shut down “indefinitely,” a profile on Embiid, authored by Ryan Jones (former editor-in-chief of SLAM magazine), popped up on Bleacher Report. It’s really well done. We would have eaten it up last month. But now? We’re really not in the mood. Not the day that Keith Pompey said it’s best to sit Embiid for the year.

And the worst part? The feature is all about how great Embiid is and can be, and adds to his junk-eating legend:

It was only four years ago that Roberts recruited the then-lanky Cameroonian teenager to Lawrence, Kansas. Embiid was “this big brownie-eating, chocolate-loving cat” who would come to Roberts’ home and devour his wife’s homemade brownies by the tray-full.

Chugging pitchers of Shirley Temple and knocking out brownies a tray at a time? That’s a superstar. But he’s changed over the years. Embiid’s HS coach from The Rock School described a young(er) JoJo as “introverted” and “pretty quiet.” That’s not really the JoJo we know. In a pre-season practice at Kansas, assistant coach Norm Roberts gave Embiid’s squad, the team’s reserves, one gameplan: “Throw the ball to Joel every time. And Joel, try to score every time you get the ball.” That’s the JoJo we know, and it’s what all-time legends are made of: A player from overseas who has less than a handful of years experience dominating D-1 college players and shoving candy and soda into his face.

The “Joel Embiid will never play” crowd is covered in a warm bath of self-righteousness, ready to unleash a stream of “told-ya-so”s if Embiid sits the rest of the year. To the pessimists among us, this reads part-feature, part-obituary of what could have been this season. And right now, we’re all allowed to be pessimists.

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17 Responses

  1. I wouldn’t choose Pavorsky for my club kickball team. Don’t lecture the rest of us on how to play center in the NBA.

      1. After Embiid misses the rest of the season, he will have missed 215 out of 246 games in his 1st 3 seasons.

    1. Stellar?? That article fucking blew. I guess when you blow so badly yourself at writing original pieces but yet somehow have kept this job on a sports blog anything above rudimentary level can be considered stellar.

  2. Embiid, Simmons and Saric will never be healthy and on the floor together for long stretches of any season. Drafting multiple stars who can stay healthy is absolutely critical in this year’s draft if The Process is going to bear any fruit in the next couple years. With injury prone players there’s a fine line between perennial playoff contender and fourth worst record in the league.

    1. I think injury concerns are huge when picking the right guy in this year’s draft, but if luck really exists the Sixers certainly need some of it to finally come their way.

  3. I’m gonna say this one more time, Cowboy fans…don’t come to THIS town, sporting your “teams” gear and expect a warm welcome. I will personally run your phoney asses out of town. Oh, and don’t call the station either! ZERO tolerance for your type…don’t push me on this

    1. yeah sure you will tough guy. Just after you get off the stall floor in the men’s room on NJTP cover ins bodily fluids.

  4. COULD YOU PLEASE POST MORE FUCKING ARTICLES ABOUT THE SAME FUCKING SHIT THAT YOU have been
    TALKING ABOUT FOR 4 WEEKS STRAIGHT?
    HOW MANY WAYS CAN YOU REWORD THE SAME BULLSHIT EMBIID SIMMONS SHIT?
    ITS WORSE that 94.1 and that shithole 97.5 beating the same pile of dogshit into the ground?
    Why don’t you grow the fuck up JIM ADAIR and come up with something original that you HAVE NOT
    talked about before?
    #&*(&*(sus #*(fFN chri(**(st!

    1. You need to calm down, step back, and focus on important issues such as which philadelphia team is next in line to win a championship and why.

  5. What a revelation hiring Chris Carlin. Has there been a better sports talk host hired in this town in the last 15 years. It’s no shock that Chris Carlin has taken Philadelphia by storm. The only question is how they are going to fend off FS1 and ESPN from snapping up this amazing talent.

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