Some are bent out of shape because of the effective one-year deals to Torrey Smith and Alshon Jeffery. But I, for one, applaud our new tryout overlords.

Torrey Smith

He is a high-upside speedster who had two good seasons in Baltimore before heading out, on a sizable contract, to the murky abyss that was San Francisco for the past two seasons. Now the Eagles get him, in his prime, on a team-friendly three-year, $15 million deal with only $500k guaranteed and team options for 2018 and 2019. That is the definition of a low-risk, high-reward signing.

Smith has blazing speed, can stretch the field and is exactly the sort of athlete who can run under a Carson Wentz bomb, unlike, say, this asshole:

The knock on Smith is that he – stop me if you’ve heard this before – doesn’t run precise routes and drops passes. A Ravens fan on Twitter told me we would hate him for doing so. That doesn’t make me feel good, but I’m not sure that guy realized we’re coming from the depths of watching Nelson Agholor and DGB bastardize pro football. At least Smith will be running away from his defender when he pisses us off.

But seriously, it’s a bonus just to have someone who can stretch the field and opens things up underneath for a big, sure-handed receiver like…

Alshon Jeffery

🍆

That eggplant is a boner, just so there’s no ambiguity here.

Jeffery will immediately become the Eagles’ most talented receiver since Terrell Owens. Full stop. Sure, he’s had injury and PED issues, but it’s rare to find someone in their prime with superstar ability and something to prove without any scary red flags. This isn’t a reclamation project, by any stretch, even if next season represents a turning point in Jeffery’s career. By all accounts, he had similar or better offers on the table, but he chose the Eagles, perhaps because he likes the idea of playing with a talented young quarterback currently seeking a Robin to his Batman, or, as Carson might prefer, a John to his Jesus. In fact, Jeffery was a targets monster and the favorite intended destination for throws from a stable of sub-stellar quarterbacks in Chicago. Wentz should take to him right away.

Carson, too, has an eggplant, for which he’ll later have to apologize to his Lord and Savior.

The Eagles are paying Jeffery a lot and will have some work to do on their cap if they want to do, like, anything else this offseason, but on just a one-year deal Jeffery won’t tie them up long-term if things don’t work out. He’ll be playing for an even bigger contract, and should things go well, there’s no reason to think that the Eagles wouldn’t be interested in his prolonged services or that he would want to jump ship.

Jeffery is a large man with top-5 talent. YouTube highlight videos can mask all sorts of deficiencies, but as it stands the Eagles haven’t had a receiver who could do these things in over a decade:

I just thew a slant over the middle to Jeffery in Madden. And then another one. And OH GOD I CAN’T STOP, DEEP TO SMITH FOR THE TOUCHDOWN!!!!

Sorry, where was I? Ah, right, boner land. Jeffery is the Upside Down version of Jordan Matthews– he’s quicker, stronger, meaner, and has softer hands. He has the same basic skill set, but it comes without the negative catch rating. In fact, while we’re on the Madden thing, Jeffery entered last season as the game’s seventh rated receiver:

We have a 91 receiver!

Matthews wasn’t on the first page and was only two spots ahead of Rueben Randle.

Even after his subpar season, Jeffery still finished tied as the 10th overall receiver:

OK so we have an 89 receiver!

You might laugh at using Madden ratings to evaluate players, but you won’t find a place that puts more time and effort into evaluating individual abilities outside of an NFL front office. Jeffery is a top talent, plain and simple.

Better, the one-year commitments allow the Eagles to still build the position through the draft and won’t prevent them from seeking free agent help next year if one or both players don’t work out.

As for the depth chart– yum. Jeffery gets at the top spot, Smith is the second outside receiver and deep threat, and Matthews slots into his more natural position and instantly becomes an above average slot receiver. He becomes Claude Giroux as a second line center and power play sniper on a good team. He’ll no longer be relied upon to be the guy, he’ll just be a guy. Sprinkle in Zach Ertz, who will benefit from the added space and safety distraction… and, well, you have a very good receiving corps, with a talented young quarterback. And I like that very much.