One of my predictions is already coming true: Brock Stassi is making a very strong push to be the Phillies’ version of the Everyman™. First, his story went viral as a 33rd round draft pick who toiled in the minors for six years and then wept upon making the big league roster. Then, on his first chartered team flight, he did not act like he’d been there before:

“Unbelievable. The food on the plane. I was crushing a lot of that. The first day I ate like eight plates of sushi before the plane even took off. It’s been crazy. Charter flights are awesome and it makes all those long bus rides in the minor leagues worth it. For sure. For sure.”

When in Rome, do as the Romans do, and when on your first chartered team flight, act like Kevin McCallister in New York and load up on as much fancy food as you can until they stop you. The difference between gas station beef jerky on a long-ass bus ride and fancy-ass sushi on a chartered MLB team plane is probably something Stassi didn’t even think about while he was striving to make the bigs. He just wanted to get on the field. But now that it’s his turn, maybe he should take it a little easy on the plane fish. I can’t imagine the sushi-induced air poops.

Kyle: Howie Roseman can.