On the heels of linebacker Damien Wilson getting arrested for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and former Eagle Nolan Carroll getting arrested for DWI… oh and Ezekiel Elliott allegedly re-arranging a DJ’s nose… Cowboys wide receiver Lucky Whitehead was accused of shoplifting over the weekend and then promptly released on Monday, the only guy to be punished by the team for his “actions.”

Problem: It wasn’t him.

It wasn’t HIM.

Ian Rapppppppppppppppppopopopopopoorts:

Oops. So, the Cowboys cut the one guy who actually didn’t do something felonious this offseason? I’m sure no one has made the Unlucky Whitehead joke yet, so allow me to… be that guy.


Side note: If you don’t think I’m listening to this the rest of the day, you’re out of your fucking mind:

Over-under on the number of times I can blast this until my wife comes in here wondering what’s gotten into me? I say 3.