Hey, sports fans. I have a little quiz for you here. It’ll be fun. Ready? Let’s go.

Complete the following statement:

Over the past five years, the Phillies have: A) Averaged 69 wins B) Not finished higher than fourth place in the NL East C) Not been closer than 23 games out of first place in the NL East by season’s end D) All of the above

Have your answers locked in? Great. If you answered “D,” then congratulations! Your prize? A depressing reminder that your favorite baseball team has been a civic embarrassment for the past half decade. But fear not, friends, because the highly anticipated prospects have arrived, they played exciting baseball over the second half of the season, and a team that has a shit ton of money at its disposal is about to grab this offseason by the fucking horns and spend, spend, spend! October baseball is coming back to Philly, baby!

Enter Andy MacPhail this afternoon to piss all over that idea and extinguish those hopes.

Here he is on not spending the aforementioned shit ton of money:

“We’ve already talked to ownership about it and explained to them why. They did not react extraordinarily well in the beginning. Ultimately, they’re OK with it with one proviso: that if an opportunity presents itself, we do not exclude it. They understand the program.”

Hey, Andy. Come the fuck on, man. Couldn’t you have waited until, like, Thursday to talk about carrying “a relatively low payroll” and spending money elsewhere on things like stadium upgrades? At least let me kid myself for a few days that Sunday’s 11-0 scrubbing of the Mets was the exclamation point on a September prelude to something bigger next season. Also, nobody gives a shit about stadium upgrades. Upgrade the team and people will come. This is Philadelphia. It’s that easy to get our attention.

Now, truthfully, MacPhail is right. It’s not that I think the team should go out this winter and dump money all over the place. They’re probably not playoff-bound in 2018 and there’s not a big-time free agent out there worth going after. Jake Arrieta was up and down this season, is on the wrong side of 30, and will command huge money. It would be utterly ridiculous to sign him. I don’t even really want him because I fully understand why they shouldn’t sign him. At the same time, how fucking awesome would it be if they did it anyway?

I’m writing this as the Twins, a team that won 59 games a year ago, get set to play the Yankees in the AL Wild Card Game. He could have easily sold that angle and some optimism, but no. It’s like MacPhail’s primary objective was to convey a thesis that says, “Lose the optimism and strap in for another year-long spin around this seemingly never ending cycle of shit.”

The other comment that stuck out from MacPhail came regarding the possibility of making upgrades via trade:

“If the question is: Is it is possible that Matt uses those assets in the minor leagues to augment our major-league club in ’18, then I think the answer to that question is definitely we’d consider it. The minor leagues are there to populate your major-league club, and it can happen a couple different ways. They can come up and play, or you can turn them in for what is more-known assets.”

Interesting comments given that they came on the same day Derek Jeter ominously warned that the Marlins will have to make “unpopular” decisions as the franchise moves forward. Given the Phillies’ payroll for next season stands at seven dollars, perhaps we can dust off those Giancarlo Stanton rumors for the fourth straight offseason.

Listening to MacPhail speak this afternoon gave me assurance that both he and general manager Matt Klentak seem to be level-headed and have a plan that will ultimately pay off. Clearly, they feel the Phillies’ day is coming. And that’s great–I’m just hoping it happens sooner than they think.