I don’t participate in social media political discussions. It’s not that I’m without opinion, or indifferent about our country– I primarily abstain because I know that I’m generally uninformed on the nuances of certain issues, and also because I’ve never witnessed two sides get into an online political dispute that resulted in one side saying, “You know something? Good point. This Tweet changes everything.” It’s just not for me. Now, that doesn’t mean I don’t like to take in a good pissing match every now and then, particularly when it involves some well-known sports personalities. Let’s set the stage.

In one corner, there’s former ESPN reporter Britt McHenry. You may remember McHenry as the NFL reporter laid off in the Worldwide Leader’s massive budget cuts, or from the time she infamously berated a tow truck company clerk:

More recently, McHenry dials up conservative hot takes on the daily via her Twitter account.

In the opposite corner, we have former Eagles President and Browns CEO Joe Banner. Banner, in addition to offering football views as a former executive, enjoys dabbling in pro-liberal discourse.

Generally, these squabbles follow a pretty specific round by round format. This one was no different.

Round 1

It starts with conflicting political ideologies offered in reaction to a news event. For instance, like when the Vice President of the United States shows up to a Colts game and predictably leaves early because of anthem protests. Some would say Mike Pence is unlike any other major politician who has showed up to major sporting events over the years, while others may opine that he pulled a cheap publicity stunt and misused public taxpayer money. Don’t really know, don’t really care, but McHenry, naturally, defended Pence:

Joe, what say you?

Score: I have to give the point to Banner here. McHenry does a good job of using Obama—it’s almost a requisite move when defending the current regime, but Banner came out aggressive here.

Round 2

After the initial barb is thrown, the other party generally comes back with a personal insult that doesn’t have much to do with the issue at hand:

Score: Spirited battle here. Ultimately, I have to give this one to McHenry. Major score for the Browns front office reference. Though I will say, Banner’s teams were 9-22 during his two years as CEO, which, in the grand scheme of things, is pretty good for the Browns!

Round 3

Things wind down with a couple of more personal insults that are, again, completely off topic before the two sides go their separate ways. In response to a third party comment regarding Banner’s superior resume, McHenry responded:

Saucy. Banner goes the McHenry route by digging up the past and seems to imply that McHenry is clearly setting up a media job in conservative politics. McHenry wants everyone to know she’s just killing it post-ESPN. The two are ALL IN at this point. Time is winding down in round three. They’re really slugging it out. And…

Ding. Ding. Ding. Okay, okay. Break em’ up.

Score: Round three, and the battle, is, to the surprise of nobody, a draw. Each side got a little heated, got way off topic, and fired off some good personal jabs in the process. Nobody changed their mind, or learned anything in the process. And that, friends, is why I don’t participate in politics online.