We ran a story on Tuesday detailing a potential Wednesday parade provided the Eagles win the Super Bowl on Sunday night. Some of our more superstitious readers predictably fired off “Way to jinx it, you stupid (insert one of several derogatory terms here)” messages. Such missives are indicative of tissue-soft psyches, understandable given that we have long been groomed for disappointment. Personally, I’m done with it. I’ve been ALL IN on this Eagles team from the jump and I’m not going to pivot out now just because they’re playing the big bad Patriots. So while some worry about jinxes, I’m spending my time thinking about not only how the Eagles are going to win, but what I’m going to do when they win, and visualizing just how epic the (gasp!) parade will be. For those of you unfamiliar with this mentality, this is something known as confidence.

Meanwhile, on the opposite side of the spectrum sits the Boston sports fan. Things here got personal with Minnesota fans both leading up to and after the NFC Championship Game, but that hostility pales in comparison to how we feel towards those residing in New England. One would think perhaps we’ve grown immune to the unrelenting douchiness which pervades that region and afflicts its fans. But no, our hearts pump with vigor the hate through our veins. Five Super Bowls. The haughtiness and the holier-than-thou monster those championships have spurred. Enough is enough. What goes up must come down. This is an epidemic that must end. Shit like this HAS to end:


If there’s a fair and just football god, then the New England Patriots and their fans will enjoy an easy blow out Super Bowl this year because we all deserve it.

Ha. So funny. So clever. It’s not what you’d expect to hear from someone whose team has won five Super Bowls, you know? But he said it anyway. Classic Barstool! It’s a masterful troll job, but at the same time, get the fuck out of here with this. It’s mostly tongue-in-cheek, partially sincere, but entirely played out. I have a ton of respect for what Barstool has done and what they’ve become. And I get that they’re playing roles–this is what the Boston guys do, while the Philly guys do things like this:

Respect, by the way. But the Boston guys? They poke fun at the non-Boston types like Big Cat, KFC and Smitty, talk a bunch of junk, and do the “they hate us, ‘cuz they ain’t us” thing well. Watching those guys be avatars for Boston douchebags and continue to pick a low hanging fruit for content is one thing, but it’s not exactly a misrepresentation of the New England mindset, and it’s nauseating.

And then there’s this. Whatever this is:

Let me just say, I don’t get it. “Amendola has four syllables. Hallelujah has four syllables…let’s do a parody?”

It’s not that these people tried to make this video that bothers me. The real problem here is that once everyone got together and production began, not one person in the room stopped and realized that this isn’t even a little bit funny. There’s a total disconnect with reality and an insufferable quality shared among these people and there’s only one way to stop it. I’ll leave you with this:

If there’s a fair and just football god, then the New England Patriots and their fans will enjoy an easy blow out Super Bowl this year because we all deserve it.

They deserve a blow out. For sure. Just to be on the other side of one.