Get Hyped for College Football with Imagine Dragons

Photo Credit: Dan MacMedan-USA TODAY

Are Imagine Dragons alternative or pop?

Not sure, but whatever they are, they suck.

And you’re gonna hear them every five seconds from now until January because ESPN started rolling out their college football promos IN FORCE this morning, 10-15 second spots featuring a snippet of a song called “Natural.”

Personally, I thought it couldn’t get any worse than hearing 30 Seconds to Mars throughout the entirety of 2017, you know, that “Do You Believe that You Can Win This Fight Tonight?” song. I had that one stuck in my head for at least five months.

But yes, it did get worse, with ESPN executives deciding to use this tune in 2018:

Man I’m pumped.

I’m ready to run through a wall right now.

I’m a linebacker sitting in my locker with my headphones on and now I’m going to obliterate the first guy who comes through the A gap.

But listen, I get it. I’m not the target.

Imagine Dragons is a safe pick because I guess they reach Millennials and Gen X and Baby Boomers alike, women and children and men who listen to shitty alt pop. It’s the same idea with Shawn Mendes performing on Penn’s Landing before next Thursday night’s season opener and the same thing with pop stars performing at halftime of every Super Bowl. They don’t need to target the 25-54 year old male demographic because those people are already watching the NFL and college football. They make these decisions to appeal to everyone and/or attract other people to the product.

In retrospect, the Janet Jackson wardrobe malfunction was the best thing to happen to the Super Bowl, because the NFL course-corrected and needed to get away from racy pop acts for a little while. That got us classic American and British acts like Tom Petty (RIP), Paul McCartney, and The Rolling Stones. It was easily the best stretch of performances we had over the past 20 years, then the show went back to being terrible when The Who gave way to The Black Eyed Peas in 2010 and Fergie decided to partner up with Slash for the world’s worst rendition of “Sweet Child O’Mine.”

On the music topic, the Philadelphia Flyers and the NHL probably come out on top, because only during a Flyers game do I hear music that is relevant and appropriate to the sport. I hear Pantera and Metallica and I guess they used to play Bro Hymn when they scored a goal, which is 10,000 times better than that insufferable Chicago Blackhawks song. I don’t hear Imagine Dragons, because Imagine Dragons are shit and no self-respecting ice hockey fan is going to be pumping “Radioactive” on their way to the Wells Fargo Center in October. Of course, the Flyers did commit a violation by replacing Pennywise with Fallout Boy and some Tiesto song and most of the team went up on stage with Nickelback, but when we’re scanning the spectrum of terrible music tastes in 2018, the local ice hockey team posts the fewest transgressions.

So yeah, I’m a washed up 33-year-old complainer who sounds like Clint Eastwood in Gran Torino, but I’d take this over Imagine Dragons any day of the week:

RIP Vinnie and Dime.

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20 Responses

  1. Hey, bought some shirts from you guys and sent a request for a size exchange. Never heard back, is this the best way to reach you?

  2. if there is one thing we can agree on, it is this. I hate their fucking music

  3. Deadicated to Alt lover, Mikey Miss

  4. Solid knowledge & shoutout to the Fly Guys musical “hits”, minus the Fall Out Biy BS . I miss Bro Hym. It was “The Best”. I am still anxiously awaiting “Drowning Pool”!

  5. I saw Imagine Dragons at a small club in LA and they were a straight up rock band. A year later they’re on the radio and entirely different. Gives you an idea how the music business works I guess.

  6. I don’t hate them but I think they are a lot more talented than the music they make. Guitar player is a Berklee school of music prodigy. They also do a ton for the LGBTQ community, especially in Utah where they are from.

    Kev, I kind of picture you as a National fan..am I close?

    1. they are more talented, yeah, that first EP had more guitar and less synth and gave me a bit of a Killers vibe.

      National I have no idea what that is, is that a band?

      1. I ‘m just throwing shade, I saw the Pantera vid. Caught them on the Vulgar tour with White Zombie and Trouble as support.

        Yeah, the National are a band, probably one that Roob likes. Singer looks like a college Lit professor and their music is a guaranteed cure for insomnia.

        1. Trouble is one of the most underrated bands on the planet. Not sure how many times I recommended Manic Frustration to folks.

          and yeah this National band is.. horrendous. and every band that Roob mentions on Twitter, I swear I’ve only heard like 2% of them. I swear he’s just making up bands

  7. I was at Starland Ballroom a couple years ago and caught Vinnies last stick, on my wall of fame. I still can’t listen to Hell Yeah yet.

  8. Great Alt band, come on bro, you need second level thinking if you think they are terrible. Cant wait to hit the next Alt show at the TLA bro

  9. smh…just watched the video…yeah that sucks! The music doesn’t match up with the video at all…guess I’m going to find out how fast I can hit the mute button when this crap comes on the tv. RIP Vinnie & Dime

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