Jason Kelce Signed His New Deal at the UPS Store

PHOTO CREDIT: BILL STREICHER-USA TODAY SPORTS

The Eagles announced earlier today a new deal with center Jason Kelce that will keep him in Philadelphia through the 2021 season. Getting that deal signed, however, turned out to be quite a story. The complications didn’t stem from the negotiation process, or sorting through the complex language of an NFL contract, but from actually getting the deal signed.

“Oh, shit. Just got this multimillion-dollar contract extension. Guess I should hop in the truck and high-tail it to the UPS store to get this thing certified.”

-Jason Kelce, probably

I agree with John Clark, who I enjoy, that Kelce is everyman, but his rationale is off here. Who has a scanner or printer in their house in 2019? I guess an eSign doesn’t cut it.

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3 Comments

  • Dave spadaro March 2, 2019 at 2:08 pm

    Great signing. Jason has a fantastic unit. Perfect shape and perfect perportions. Can’t wait to see more of him in the showers.

    Reply
    • Internet pedagogue March 2, 2019 at 2:15 pm

      Perportions? You’re a dolt. You’ve just been Gogued!

      Reply
  • Mark harris March 2, 2019 at 2:10 pm

    Excuse me sir ! I am an American! I will not stand nor will I tolerate your inconsiderate behavior!

    Reply
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