Hey guess what?
If you’ve ever wanted to be a professional mascot, now’s your chance.
The Union posted a job opening looking for somebody to be “Phang,” the purple snake with two feet.
Here are the qualifications for the gig, after the jump:
- Previous mascot experience is mandatory
- Due to costume restrictions, candidate must be between 5’8”-6’0” and weigh between 140 lbs.-200 lbs.
- Punctuality is mandatory as well as (sic)
- Must be available to work nights, weekends and holidays
- Must have a knowledge of soccer and basic soccer skills
- Must have own, reliable transportation
- Must be highly energetic, communicative and athletic
- Ability to work in adverse weather conditions
- Willingness to be trained and coached
- Ability to interact with and entertain groups of all ages
Gotta be between 5’8″ and 6’0″? That’s not a lot of wiggle room there. I’m 6’1″, 170, so I’m disqualified. And the bagel boss guy is too short for the outfit, so he’s disqualified as well.
If you fit the description, however, you should apply for the job. You can be the next Phang, and you can go on stage with the Wu Tang Clan: