Another 50 Hot Takes for the Philadelphia Sports Fan

Welcome to another installment of the hot takes column.

Previously we shared 50 hot takes for the Philadelphia sports fan, and then we did 50 more hot takes in June, simply because the world cannot get enough hot takes.

Now that we’re in the dog days of summer and things are honestly kind of slow, I figured I’d drop another 50 for all y’all, even though not all of these are even takes. Some are just blanket opinions and/or grievances, as if Frank Costanza had just raised the Festivus Pole and invited us to voice our concerns.

With that being said, here are 50 things that popped into my head:

  1. The Haka is dumb.
  2. Baseball’s one-game Wild Card playoff is one of the worst ideas ever conceived.
  3. Recently I’ve decided that it’s not okay to wear a jersey with another man’s name on it. You can only wear jerseys up until age 18.
  4. You can’t talk shit about soccer if you play fantasy football.
  5. Fantasy football is dangerously close to jumping the shark, especially now that we have legalized sports betting and daily fantasy and other similar outlets.
  6. I don’t know why people say “you’re just doing this for clicks!” Yes, that’s the entire point. We are trying to get people to read our website.
  7. If you drink pumpkin beer or coffee in August, that’s terrible.
  8. When Wawa decided to partner with the Baltimore Ravens, the anti-Wawa backlash was just a pathetic and trendy pile-on. Wawa is king and will always be king.
  9. Sheetz still sucks, despite what Russ says.
  10. Flyers fans need to stop becoming offended at every perceived ice hockey slight. It’s just a cyclical thing; the team isn’t great right now and that’s why the media coverage is heavily geared towards the Eagles, Phillies, and Sixers. When they are good again, the landscape will shift appropriately.
  11. Dallas Cowboy fans who are actually from Texas are great. I went down to Austin for a Big 12 game last year and the Cowboy supporters I met were really friendly and smart people. It’s just further proof that the cockroaches from our area are the real problem.
  12. I’ve come to find that college football fans know more about the game than NFL fans. They’re just more educated about the sport overall, and I’m not sure why that is.
  13. If you’re a reporter at a press conference or in a scrum, you don’t always have to ask a question. There’s one guy specifically who ALWAYS has to ask something incredibly dumb, no matter the circumstance (not Howard Eskin, it’s somebody else).
  14. I’m indifferent on Barstool, but Portnoy’s anti-Union tweets had me laughing last week. He’s very good at playing his role and turning the publicity into something beneficial.
  15. The problem with unions in 2019 is that too often they protect lazy employees while limiting other more motivated workers. Frequently you’ll have young and hungry employees who hit a ceiling and can’t go anywhere, because bloated contracts prop up sleepy dinosaurs with outdated skill sets. Then the younger group of employees inevitably leave and go elsewhere because there’s no room for them to grow within the company.
  16. Nobody who actually lives in Philadelphia eats cheesesteaks with any regularity.
  17. The best music venue in town right now is Union Transfer. Great sound quality, wide open foyer, decent access and parking situation in that area.
  18. PennDOT should not be allowed to start a new project while existing projects remain unfinished. The entire I-95 corridor from Cottman down to Girard is a mess.
  19. The worst social media argument is when NBA fans discuss whether “player A” is better than “player B.”
  20. I love how Stephen A Smith is an unapologetic capitalist. He works very hard and deserves every dollar he makes. He’s easily the #1 talent on ESPN right now in terms of reach and familiarity.
  21. I don’t get the Mike Scott tattoo thing. I think it’s cool that he’s really connected with the fan base, but Scott has only played 37 total games here. Usually it takes a little more than that to become a fan-favorite type of cult figure, but what do I know.
  22. My wife complains when I leave the seat up, but I don’t know why it’s so hard for her to just put it back down.
  23. Before my daughter was born, people always said corny and negative stuff like, “prepare to never sleep again!” or “get ready to change diapers!” Most of those cautionary tales are bullshit. Being a dad is great.
  24. The best sports days are Fall Saturdays, when you can watch Premier League from 7 a.m. to noon, then college football comes on. NFL Sundays aren’t as good because you have to go to work the next day.
  25. Everybody should to go College Gameday at least once, even if you aren’t a college football fan. It’s a bucket list sports item.
  26. RE: Howard Eskin, I hear a lot of people say, “well at least he’s showing up to press conferences,” then they turn around and criticize guys like Mike Missanelli for not doing that. I think that’s off base because Mike works full-time on a PM drive shift, while Howard does his Saturday morning show and random spots on 94 WIP. That criticism never made sense to me because both guys have different jobs and different schedules.
  27. I’d rather have a coach speak twice a week for 25 minutes at a time instead of five different press conferences of 10 minutes each. Why? Because you get more from a coach, you get better quotes and more thought-out responses when he doesn’t have to speak to the media 5-7 times per week, which is what happens with Brett Brown.
  28. I’d remove pregame availability from all sports. There is no reason for a coach or player to have to speak to reporters before a game, and there’s no reason for us to be in the locker room before the start of the contest.
  29. The halftime and between-quarters interview MUST be removed from every sporting broadcast. These are generally worthless two-question exchanges that provide nothing of interest to the viewer.
  30. Anybody who sets off fireworks in Philadelphia should be arrested. All you’re really doing is pissing off your neighbors, scaring dogs, and waking up babies. It’s an outrage.
  31. The playing of “Sweet Caroline” at Fenway Park is horrendous, perhaps the worst tradition in all of sports.
  32. This city is filthy. It’s really depressing to see how much trash is just laying around, and people can’t be bothered to clean up in front of their house or just grab a bag and pick up some loose pieces on the block.
  33. Twitter is a hellhole of nonstop political talk and other nonsense. It’s worse than it’s ever been.
  34. Part of the reason for #33 is because we have very poor basic communication skills in 2019. People are very bad at just saying, “hey, how are you?” because most of our interaction is via text message or computer or other non-personal formats.
  35. Here’s one from Coggin: “Bull Durham is an overrated chick flick of a sports movie”
  36. And a take from Russ: “Allen Iverson is a poor man’s Russell Westbrook”
  37. Philadelphians need to go to other places besides the Jersey Shore in the Summer. Life is too short to go to Wildwood for 40 straight years.
  38. Major League Soccer is correct to ban political signage from their stadiums. It’s not about right or wrong; the entire point is that we don’t want an Antifa banner in one section and a MAGA banner in another section. We don’t want “end gun violence” in section 138 and NRA banners in section 140. It’s a disaster waiting to happen.
  39. The best fast food chain is Chick-fil-A and it’s not even really close. Good food, great service, generally very clean stores.
  40. If you’re a Notre Dame fan because you’re an Irish Catholic or because they “were on TV a lot back in the day” then you’re a poser.
  41. Cricket might be the most boring sport on the planet.
  42. Rugby is boring.
  43. People talk about how passionate Philadelphia sports fans are, but SEC football fans have us beat. Bama, Georgia, Auburn, etc – those are the most intense people I’ve ever been around.
  44. New rule: any advertising on a jersey must be smaller than the actual team crest. It’s cheesy as hell to see the “Chevrolet” logo on a Manchester United shirt be three times bigger than the club logo.
  45. I’ll clarify my prior Bruce Springsteen take. The reason I think The Boss is overrated is because his music just isn’t that great. There’s too much piano and too much saxophone, resulting in an anemic type of non-rock sound. People always get annoyed with me and talk about how he plays three hour concerts and has great lyrics and whatever, but that’s not relevant to the quality of the music itself, which is very meh.
  46. Lil Uzi Vert is awful. Just terrible.
  47. Doug Pederson gets a free pass for life. I don’t care if he goes 0-32 over the next two seasons.
  48. People who don’t watch MMA because it’s “too violent” need to try again. If you take the time to learn a little bit about the technical and tactical side of martial arts, plus the blend of various styles and approaches, you will come to appreciate the sport for what it is: the most pure form of human competition there is.
  49. Sixers fans have no reason to boo Jimmy Butler when he returns to Philly. He hit some big shots during his brief time here. He wanted to go to Miami, and now he’s there. That’s pretty much it.
  50. Hot takes are terrible in general. I just write these stories because people read them.

Right then, thanks for reading. Here’s some Bruce Springsteen for you all:

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25 Responses

  1. People from the suburbs who move to Fishtown and then complain about fireworks in the summer are the worst people.

    “I moved into the city. But it is too noisy.”

    Actually, anybody who moved into Fishtown the past 10 years are the worst people

  2. Again with the Bruce thing. You’re just not listening. The music is incredible/beautiful. so much better than most of today’s crap. It’s real music not some junk put together with a synthesizer. There’s a reason you’re taking heat for your Springsteen rants. Because you’re wrong.

  3. Is it plagiarism if you steal the haka opinion from a couple local comedians who just so happened to have a similar convo on twitter earlier today?

  4. Russ is like 28 years old. He was like 9 years old when AI was here. His hot take is automatically disqualified. Please remove from list. Thank you.

  5. #3 – if you wear a jersey out in public you are a total tool
    #15 – unions are a joke and are bad for productivity
    #23 – men who warn other men about how difficult it will be having a kid are betas and their wives likely wear the pants in the relationship
    #33 – twitter is a liberal cesspool. Even all the sports people are liberal lefty weirdos. I’m on there less and less.
    #48 – MMA Is so much better than boxing. The best always fight the best and always in the prime of their careers. Boxing blows.

  6. I couldn’t get past the image of the dumpster fire you chose.. The fence behind it looks like Bear Gryls fashioned it for an overnight lean to. The dumpster itself is like an Eastern European version, perfect for stashing journalists with strong opinions. Don’t worry we haven’t started that here yet. Oh and no reason to put the seat down, everyone needs to pull their own weight. Oh and who is Mike Scott?

  7. I agree with 33 can’t fucking go on twitter without nuts from both sides fighting. Had to unfollow majority of Philly beat writers with their crazy left liberal views . Even the sixers outsiders chick is arguing why the Eagles didn’t sign kap over mccown . Let it go hun

  8. #43 is bullshit. Go ahead and try talking to a Georgia fan about their first place Braves, or an LSU fan about the pelicans exciting future. SEC fans are the way they are because they live in one horse towns with nothing else going for them outside of the local state University they aren’t smart enough to attend.

    Philly fans are typically, at a minimum, insanely invested in two of the 4 sports teams. Some of us even fall into the Union’s yearly trap just in time for the collapse.

  9. If you actually talk to SEC fans you find they are informed about every team, who the coach is, who might replace
    him,……try listening to the Finebaum show and you will see what i mean, philly and the nfl have nothing that comes close except for for when either Misanelli or Devon (sic) talk Sixers

  10. I will never understand the obsession women who grew up in the Delaware Valley have with the Jersey Shore. It’s got to be the greatest example of hive mind think in this area.

    Like it’s okay. It’s not heaven on earth. I’d rather enjoy the beautiful palm trees and beaches in Florida for 1/10th of the cost of an overpriced LBI 2 week rental.

  11. 3- Adults who wear jerseys are as bad as adult wrestling fans. Grow up loser.

    8- Wawa does suck. It is coasting on goodwill from many years ago. It used to be like a decent deli, but now it’s closer to a bad fast food restaurant. Everything comes in premade, except for the rolls which now come in partially cooked and are garbage. I don’t get the love for their coffee either.

    15- I laugh when sites like Deadspin go all pro-union, but then rip old writers at local papers that have been mailing it in for decades. You can’t have it both ways. Either you support the union and the horrible workers they help keep employed, or you support management’s ability to remove these outdated hacks.

    16- It’s unhealthy. Once in a while is all you need.

    23- I don’t know how old your daughter is but wait until she is old enough to get enjoyment out of pushing your buttons.

    26- Not an Eskin fan, but even when he worked a regular shift he made it to the stadiums, even if it was just to annoy the players/coaches. Man of the people Mike Miss is kind of like your boss in that both cover Philly sports but step inside the city as little as possible.

    32- The city is a dump and it’s taught behavior. Kids watch parents throw the wrapper out the car window and learn from that. I’ve seen people drop trash on the ground while leaning on a trashcan.

    33- It’s easy to be mean while anonymous and distant. This site knows that.

    36- Not sure who is the poor man’s version of who, but both are stat focused, me first guys. They would rather put up numbers on a team of scrubs then share with a solid team around them.

    37- Don’t go to OC Maryland, it’s overrated.

    39- You are correct. Their customer service runs circles around the other places.

    45- Bruce Springsteen is overrated. His music is ok, but the worst is his his common man persona. The guy hasn’t been a common man in over 4 decades.

  12. I don’t play fantasy football and soccer isn’t a real sport.

    Anyone who calls Bull Durham an overrated chick flick is a Grade A moron.

  13. The most passionate and educated fans I’ve ever met are Kentucky basketball fans, and this is coming from a UNC grad.

  14. You got your music venues mixed up. It’s The Fillmore that has the huge, actually cool lobby with tons of parking options in the area (ahem, Sugarhouse, ahem). Like UT too, but parking around there is an adventure no one needs or wants.

    Also, your issue with Springsteen’s sound seems to be that the music doesn’t fit some narrow, cliche version of what defines rock music. Whatever, to each their own.

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