In News That Should Surprise Nobody, the Angry Bagel Guy Decided Not to Fight Screech

via Twitter

You could probably see this coming from a mile away, but the celebrity boxing match between the Angry Bagel Guy and Screech did not take place on Saturday night.

The Bagel Guy skipped out on the fight, claiming that he “fooled” us all via this Twitter post:

Bagel guy:

“I fooled you all! I ain’t coming to the fight. I mean after all, what’s the best way to not get hit? Don’t be there! And now look at yous, you’re all sitting there with your thumbs way, way directly up your asses!”

Apparently Morgan was sitting in his car smoking weed all day. He then posted this on Sunday night:

So there you have it. The Angry Bagel Guy was supposed to fight Lenny Dykstra. Nails pulled out of the fight to attend to legal matters. Instead of fighting Screech, Morgan skipped out on the fight.

If you predicted that this fight would never happen, you can now cash your bet.


6 Responses

  1. The real reason this should surprise nobody: the whole sleazy thing was promoted by sleazeball/low-rent con artist Damon Feldman. End of story.

    1. If one (((Damon Feldman))) lost money on this, then I salute the angry bagel douche.

      1. Good point. I was going to say, “But what about the people who paid money to see this?” and then realized anyone who spent even one cent for a ticket to this garbage shouldn’t be allowed to procreate. If you lie with dogs…

  2. “opponent half my age and twice my size”

    Embarrassingly enough, I looked up their ages. Screech is 42 and Bagel Boy is 45. Either Morgan is secretly 84 years old, or he’s about as good at math as being a decent human being.

  3. This article brought to you by my 129K$ student loan debt and
    ‘Tiger Beat’ educational courses………………………

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