Boooooooooooooo!

It’s a shame fans couldn’t be at the stadium on Monday night, because 69,000 strong would have booed this miserable excuse of a football team off the field. They would have unleashed the most justified cacophony of ire this world has ever known, a channeled discordance that would have made the Dirty 30 look like pathetic amateurs in comparison.

Rhetorical question –

Do you still have any anger left for this team?

I no longer feel disdain or rage, only nothingness. It’s the Tao of Philadelphia, the absolute principle of depleting your emotion through the first half of this woeful season to the point where there is simply nothing left. Our will has been crushed, the tank emptied, and now we shuffle along as mindless husks, waiting for basketball and hockey to begin.

Rhetorical question #2 –

How does one become arsed enough to even care about a team that isn’t worth watching right now? It’s football purgatory, where the squad is so bad that they just aren’t worth the time or energy. That’s the exact spot you do not want to be in, that middle ground where anger turns to apathy and fans start checking out, even though the NFL’s worst division is somehow still up for grabs.

We always try to stay positive at Crossing Broad, and here’s the good news on a Tuesday morning:

This pitiful charade is almost over. Only a few more games, and then we can strap this season to a rocket and fire it directly into the sun.

1. The starting quarterback

Drops on the opening drive, questionable play calling, etc. It’s the same story, but again, Carson Wentz just does absolutely nothing to help himself when the opportunities are there.

Just off the top of my head, writing this story while tired and somewhat delirious at 1 a.m., Carson:

  • missed Dallas Goedert open down the field
  • missed Goedert open down the field, again
  • engineered three straight three-and-outs to start the game
  • started 1-6 with his only completion being an underhand toss on a jet sweep
  • had 15 passing yards at halftime
  • threw at Miles Sanders’ feet
  • threw high for Greg Ward

So on, and so forth, and look, when your team stinks, the margins for success and error are so much smaller. It’s not fair, but it’s reality, and he has to try to make it work with the talent limitations on the field and in the coaching ranks.

The only real success Carson had Monday night was in the second half when Doug Pederson went tempo and let him use his feet more, allowed him to throw some quick passes, and made the game more “automatic.” I even saw a roll out in there, which was amazing. It’s like seeing sasquatch or the Loch Ness monster, the ultra-rare Carson roll out.

But when we got to crunch time and plays needed to be made, they were not made. The third quarter opening drive Carson disappeared. And the guy now needs to take a seat on the bench regardless of whether Jalen Hurts is ready or not. You can’t roll him out there next week. Please, for his sake and ours, give him a one-game break and let him clear his head and hit the reset button.

2. The other quarterback

Remember the report about Hurts getting first team reps this week?

So much for that. And that’s not a knock on Tim McManus, who is a total pro, but I went into this game excited to see more of Hurts and was let down when it didn’t happen.

Hurts entered to start the second quarter, with no Wentz on the field (finally), and the first play was a false start on the tight end and right tackle. Ok, no problem. They tried again and he completed a short out to Alshon Jeffery, but then came right back out of the game for Wentz.

Here’s that drive in its entirety:

  1. Carson Wentz pass complete for one yard
  2. Hurts enters the game
  3. false start
  4. Hurts completes six yard pass
  5. Wentz comes back in the game
  6. sack
  7. punt

What a drive! Awesome.

I’m sure you feel the same way I do. What the hell is the plan with Jalen Hurts? You’ve got one foot in the door and one foot out the door. If you’re gonna play him, take the training wheels off and keep him the game. If you’re married to Wentz, don’t use Hurts at all. Somebody has to make up their mind because you can’t keep rolling him out there for a handful of Taysom Hill snaps each game. It’s doing absolutely nothing for this team, for Hurts, or for Wentz.

There is no tangible benefit at all.

3. DK “Megatron” Metcalf

In case you needed a reminder, here’s a portion of the second round of the 2018 NFL draft:

On the night, Metcalf went for 10 catches on 13 targets for 177 yards.

J.J. Arcega-Whiteside had zero catches on zero targets for zero yards.

Metcalf, believe it or not, has more than 20 catches in three games against the Birds. JJAW has 12 catches in his career, and only 214 total receiving yards. DK was 37 yards short of eclipsing JJAW’s career mark on TUESDAY NIGHT ALONE.

It’s incredible to behold. Incredibly depressing.

This is also depressing:

Great! Thanks Jim Schwartz. Let’s give the guy extra motivation before the game even starts.

4. Defense showed up, again

Credit where it’s due; the defense was up for it. Second straight game they showed up ready to play.

They had two fourth down stops to open the game. Derek Barnett and Javon Hargrave were making plays. Alex Singleton again looked like a player. They bottled up Russell Wilson and held the Seahawks to 2.5 yards per rush while logging 11 tackles for loss and hitting the QB seven times.

And then what happened?

Same thing as last week. The offense was playing like dog shit, the defense spent a ton of time on the field, and they just tired out while getting frustrated at the same time. Yeah, Darius Slay had trouble with Metcalf, but that was to be expected. Generally, if you’re gonna hold Seattle to 23 points, you’d think your offense could do better than nine points, pre-Hail Mary, against the league’s 32nd-ranked D, which features a terrible secondary.

5. Snap counts and non-usage

Miles Sanders got six carries – WHY?

Travis Fulgham only saw 52% of the snaps – WHY?

Alshon Jeffery playing at all – WHY?

Why why why why? 

Here’s Doug’s answer to the Fulgham question:

“Well, I think, Travis he’s still a part of the offense and he knows he’s got to continue to work hard each week and play well. And Alshon is improving and getting healthier. We have to be able to use both of those guys, they are two big targets for Carson. We’ve just got to continue to work and make sure that both guys are ready to go.”

Dude, Doug, put Travis Fulgham on the field for as many snaps as possible. Please glue Alshon to the bench. We know what Jeffery is but we need to find out if Fulgham is a stud, or the next Dom Brown.

They continue to make these ridiculous personnel decisions, based on what? Veteran loyalty? Do they not want to rock the boat? This is a THREE-WIN football team! You are not .500 and chasing a playoff spot. Everybody seems to know how this ends, except for the Eagles, and they’re wasting valuable snaps and opportunities for younger players because we have to play washed up dudes who have no future here.

It’s malpractice. Institutional arrogance.

6. Mistakes and breaks

Let’s dive right in!

Mistakes:

  1. Alshon Jeffery drop on first drive.
  2. Darius Slay 15 yard unsportsmanlike conduct on Seahawks’ first drive. Automatic first down.
  3. Malik Jackson retaliation penalty on the very next play.
  4. Jason Kelce failing to snap the ball for a five yard penalty.
  5. 3rd down illegal contact penalty on Slay (honestly not a ton there)
  6. Missed extra point.
  7. Miles Sanders drops.
  8. Having to burn a timeout on the opening drive of the second half.
  9. Failed challenge,
  10. Wentz interception.

Breaks: 

  1. Malik Jackson not getting whistled despite literally pushing a guy’s helmet off of his head with illegal hands to the face.
  2. Seattle ridiculous play calling in the red zone on opening drive.
  3. Miles Sanders drop negated by a defensive penalty.
  4. Holding to negate the Carlos Hyde touchdown run.
  5. Pass interference on second Goedert underthrow.
  6. Outrageous no-call on the intentional grounding

Let’s talk about #6 –

Wentz bobbles a snap, runs backward, evades a tackler, and then chucks a ball that clearly does not make it back to the line of scrimmage:

The ref is standing right there. The ball literally lands two yards in front of him. Is he snoozing? Did he have money on the Eagles? That is one of the most OUTRAGEOUS no calls you will ever see. If I wasn’t delirious and full of self-hate for watching that slop, I would have laughed until I started crying.

7. Ancillary wins and losses

Barfy numbers here:

  • lost time of possession 32:57 to 27:03
  • -1 turnover margin
  • 8-17 on third down (47.0%)
  • 0-3 on fourth down
  • allowed Seahawks to go 2-10 on third down (20%)
  • lost 41 yards on six sacks
  • 1-3 success rate in the red zone
  • 9 penalties for 79 yards
  • 18 first downs, 20 for Seattle
  • ran 66 total plays, Seattle 63

TOP, sacks, penalties. They did really well on third downs last night, and limited Seattle in that department, but too much self-inflicted stuff, combined with the inability to stay on the field and build momentum in the first half. That was the story of these ancillary numbers.

8. Doug’s best call?

Going with some tempo on the scoring drive right before the half. There was an empty set RPO in there I believe, which Carson used to rip off the big run.

He kept that tempo going throughout the third quarter and just tried to help his QB stay in a rhythm, which is what you wanna do. If something is finally working, just keep doing it. Words of wisdom from Captain Obvious.

9. Doug’s worst call?

Well, it’s not really on Doug, but the guys upstairs blew the challenge. Metcalf’s knee was clearly down. Maybe they thought he did not complete a “football move” and would get the incompletion call that way, but regardless, it didn’t go in their favor, and they lost their second timeout as a result.

That brings us to the decision to go for it on 4th and 2 at midfield with about 13 minutes remaining, down eight points. In hindsight, no, we didn’t like the decision, since it’s a one-score game and you can flip the field entirely there and try to pin Seattle in their own end. Maybe Doug felt like the defense was running out of steam and needed to keep the offense on the field, but the Seahawks took the field position, kicked a field goal, and made it a two-score game.

Right, so now about the next decision, to go for it ON FOURTH DOWN INSTEAD OF KICKING THE FIELD GOAL TO TAKE THE POINTS AND MAKE IT A ONE SCORE GAME… I don’t get it. I really don’t. What in God’s name is he doing?

His explanation:

“My mind-set there was we have to stay as aggressive as possible on offense. We had to try to make a play, get something going. And from my vantage point it just looked like Carson and Dallas were not synced up. It was a play we had used in the third quarter. They connected on it, and it appeared that Dallas turned inside, Carson threw it outside where Dallas was on the first time we called the play. So just a matter of those two guys being on the same page.

But as far as the decision to go, we had to make every effort to stay and really get us into this game and just wanted to stay as aggressive as possible.”

Look, Goedert came out after the game and took blame for the interception, but that’s beside the point. There was no reason to go in the first place. Kick the field goal and make it an eight-point game with 8:40 remaining on the clock. Even the analytics dorks didn’t understand the call because the win probability on most of the models I saw showed a “toss up” result based on the decision. In that case, you go for the EASY field goal (we think), instead of trying to convert the HARD 4th and 4 play with a QB who just isn’t performing that well.

Even when the analytics don’t present a clear option one way or another, Doug’s gut instincts continue to be off.

10. The broadcast

I’m not typically a fan of the three-man booth, but this trio seems fine. Lou Riddick is very solid and knows his stuff, while Brian Griese is straightforward and doesn’t try too hard. Sometimes I forgot he was even there. But neither one of these dudes is overbearing, so it works.

Steve Levy is a veteran who does a decent enough job, but I don’t know if calling football play-by-play is the best fit for him. I can’t put my finger on it, but something just doesn’t seem to work. He feels out of place on this broadcast but excels in other areas.

(But make no mistake, this crew is infinitely better than the Joe Tessitore/Booger McFarland/Jason Witten crew we got a few years back)

One thing I’ve wondered over the years is this:

Is Lou Riddick a Philly guy? He grew up in Quakertown and went to Pennridge High School. He worked for the Eagles for a bit, but he grew up a Cowboys fan and is a Pitt Panther. For those reasons, he can’t be trusted.

Louis Riddick is not a Philly guy.

Also, what was up with the graphic showing Wentz sitting on a wagon? What the fuck is this? –

Good morning.