We have to be careful about feeding the trolls, because they are sustained by clicks. If we continue to sate the beast, it will grow until it breaks free of its shackles and can no longer be contained.
Perhaps we’ve already reached that point with the person who writes Eagles stories for 94 WIP. Previously, he had reached impressive new heights, thought previously unattainable, when he was severely ratio’d following this tweet:
I could maybe score a touchdown. I could luck into a home run. I could probably get two points in an NBA game.
I could play hundreds of games of hockey and never, ever score a goal. It looks impossible.
— Eliot Shorr-Parks (@EliotShorrParks) August 17, 2020
In no scenario is ESP ever scoring a touchdown, nor would he “luck into” a home run or score any points in the NBA.
So that was the peak of his trolling, his final evolutionary form, or so we thought. Somehow, in grotesque fashion, he has now eclipsed that. This guy just keeps setting the bar higher and higher and creating new standards for ridiculous contrarian discourse in the Philadelphia sports media:
Howie Roseman is trying to clean up the mess that Carson Wentz created.
It won’t be easy, but it seems like he is playing the situation perfectly: https://t.co/uleKNcHtRx
— Eliot Shorr-Parks (@EliotShorrParks) February 18, 2021
“Howie Roseman is trying to clean up the mess that Carson Wentz created.”
Imagine typing that. Imagine pressing “publish.” It’s totally insane, but in a disturbingly bizarre way, you have to be impressed by this man’s commitment to some of the dumbest takes on the planet.
At the risk of falling into the trap, we’ll just point out that Howie Roseman reached for a receiver in round one of the 2020 draft, took a QB in round two, and then went project linebacker in round three. He did pretty much nothing to improve the offense, created a quarterback controversy, and undermined the guy who just signed a beefy, long-term contract. Wentz played like crap this year, and for parts of last year, but Howie Roseman is trying to clean up the mess he himself created after years of bad drafting and bad roster building. That is indisputable!
But listen, credit to ESP for his unwavering commitment to the shtick. He’s our own Skip Bayless, and we should embrace him as such. This stuff plays very well on the radio, and somebody has to carry the torch when reigning charlatans Angelo Cataldi and Howard Eskin call it a day. Ultimately, we’re guilty because we took the bait and wrote about it here, so WIP wins this round, again. Those bastards.
Again, it’s not necessarily about hating the player, it’s about hating the game, and the game absolutely blows right now.