If you’re living under a rock and unaware, today began a new NCAA policy that allows athletes to profit off their name, image, and likeness. That’s the ‘NIL’ acronym you keep seeing on social media.

In layman’s terms, this allows college athletes to make money from endorsements and sponsorships while keeping their eligibility intact. There’s been overwhelming and bi-partisan political support to essentially end amateurism and send it out to pasture.

So now each school is figuring out how to navigate the new landscape, and not every institution is the same. BYU, a Mormon LDS Church University, send out a press release that outlines NIL framework, and within the write up is the following passage:

“Student-athletes may not enter into NIL agreements with companies, businesses, causes or products that do not conform to the BYU Honor Code Standards. Some examples of such prohibited areas include, but are not limited to, alcohol, tobacco, gambling, adult entertainment, coffee, etc.”

Wait, coffee? Coffee is against the Brigham Young honor code?

Just to be sure, I went and looked up the specific policy on BYU’s “Church Educational System Honor Code,” and this is what it says:

“Abstain from alcoholic beverages, tobacco, tea, coffee, vaping, and substance abuse.”

Alright then. This means that BYU’s star running back will not be able to enter into an endorsement deal with Folgers. Or Maxwell House. Or Chock Full O’ Nuts. That’s what my in-laws drink. It tastes like diesel fuel but it wakes you up.

The best part is that coffee and tea is lumped in with alcohol, tobacco, and pornography. The many evils this world has to offer. It’s like opening Pandora’s Box and out comes greed, lust, gluttony, and a 28-ounce bag of Starbucks Breakfast Blend. Your suspicious mom looks through your room for contraband and finds a K Cup under the bed. You try to tell her that it’s only half-caff, but it doesn’t matter; you’re grounded!

Unfortunately for the student-athletes at BYU, they will have to go elsewhere with their newfound NIL freedoms.