Big Philadelphia radio news this morning. Angelo Cataldi announced that he will be retiring in December of 2022. That means we only have to suffer one more year of fake outrage before the WIP morning show exits the Bronze Age and joins the rest of us in modernity.

There’s always the chance that Angelo changes his mind about retirement for the umpteenth time, but if he does follow through to call it quits, WIP is going to have to find a replacement, a task that will fall on new “Brand Manager” Rod Lakin and local boss David Yadgaroff. They’re gonna have to make sure they get it right, because Angelo RAKED money for Audacy over the years as a ratings behemoth, just dominating the archaic Nielsen PPM system. I remember when somebody told me Angelo came in second place in the morning “with 15 meters,” which is fantastic.

Anyway, we’ve decided to help WIP. We’ve come up with a list of 75 possible replacements for Angelo:

  1. Marc Farzetta
  2. Mike Sielski
  3. Eagles Shirley
  4. Butch from Manayunk
  5. Natalie Egenolf and Joe Staszak aka “Nat and Big Dog in the Morning“
  6. All 30 members of The Dirty 30
  7. El Wingador
  8. The Tastytake CEO, who was on the radio two weeks ago talking Birds
  9. Steven Singer
  10. Preston and Steve
  11. Howard “The King” Eskin
  12. Joe Cordell, of Cordell and Cordell
  13. nobody, just let Al, Jonesy, and Rhea run the show themselves
  14. Jon Johnson
  15. the guy who captured the alligator in the trash can
  16. a different “wingette” every day until they run out of wingettes
  17. Ben Simmons
  18. Josh Innes
  19. Joe Giglio
  20. Sonya Thomas, “The Black Widow”
  21. a Bruno and Mayes reunion, w/ Joe Younes producing and Jose from Norristown calling in on a “What up Wednesday”
  22. Dan “the Schwartz” Schwartzman
  23. Tom Byrne
  24. Maureen Williams aka “MCW”
  25. Gonzo and Vai
  26. Coggin Toboggan
  27. Mike Missanelli
  28. permanently move Glen and Ray to weekday mornings
  29. Chuck from Mount Airy
  30. Ingy
  31. Mad Mike/Mike from King of Prussia
  32. Angry Bob
  33. Michael Barkann
  34. John Boruk
  35. Eytan Shander
  36. Andy Bloom
  37. Urban Meyer
  38. Phil Sheridan
  39. Lenny Dykstra aka “Nails”
  40. Gabe Kapler
  41. Doug Pederson
  42. Phil from Mt. Airy
  43. the guy Phil claims to have punched in the face for using a racial slur
  44. the “Unlike Agholor” guy
  45. ex-Jeopardy host Mike Richards
  46. a Go Birds reunion with John Barchard, James Seltzer, and Eliot Shorr-Parks
  47. the shock return of Spike Eskin to the airwaves
  48. Glenn “Hurricane” Schwartz
  49. Joe Conklin
  50. Reuben “Big Rube” Harley
  51. Don Smolenski
  52. Ted Lasso
  53. John Bolaris
  54. Billy King and Ruben Amaro Jr.
  55. Lincoln Financial Field security guard “Sierra”
  56. Brother Scott from Barrington
  57. Jason Whitlock and Clay Travis
  58. Rachel Nichols
  59. HughE Dillon
  60. Mike Francesa
  61. Angry Al
  62. Jim from Havertown
  63. Nick Kayal
  64. Josina Anderson
  65. Sal Paolantonio
  66. Brian Baldinger and Anthony Gargano, to bring back The Meat Locker
  67. the guy who did the fake Cuz routine on Innes’ show
  68. Dave from Center City
  69. literally anybody but Angelo
  70. Ed Rendell, the Gov
  71. Chris Carlin
  72. Andy Reid
  73. Odubel Herrera
  74. Dick Stockton
  75. Dwayne from Swedesboro

Thoughts? I’ll forward this over to David Yadgaroff and David Field.