Good God, the Detroit Lions absolutely stunk on Sunday afternoon.

You need to water and fertilize every day, as Nick Sirianni told us last week, and Dan Campbell and Jared Goff provided the world’s best manure for the Eagles to work with. It gave off a pungent stench, the perfect combination of nitrogen, phosphorus, and whatever else a burgeoning flower needs.

The Eagles burgeoned in a big way on Sunday, obliterating Detroit 44 to 6. It was a botanical beatdown. The Lions were 0-7 coming into the game, but truthfully had played and lost some close games in recent weeks, so this was the wheels coming off entirely after playing hard and coming up short so many times before. They couldn’t do diddly poo on offense, as Jim Mora would say. If promotion and relegation was a thing in football, they’d be playing in the Big 10 next year, and Ohio State would be moving up to the NFC North.

It’s hard to take too much joy in the Birds’ win because of the fact that Detroit is atrocious. But the Eagles didn’t just scrape by; they annihilated a lesser team, and if we’re going Posidelphia this morning instead of sardonic Negadelphia, then the hope is that this is the type of game that gets the Eagles going again and leads to more wins during this transitional, rebuilding campaign.

1) Game managing

Jalen Hurts was decent in this game. He completed 9 of 14 passes for 103 yards and didn’t have to throw because the Birds were running all over Detroit. We want the Eagles to run more, but at the same time, we’re looking for Hurts to take the next step as a bona fide NFL passer who can climb the pocket, go through his progressions, and make professional throws.


He had a couple of big runs to move the sticks, and finished with 71 rushing yards on 7 carries. There were still a couple of individual sequences where you’d like for him to hang in there a bit longer and/or make a better read (like that 3rd and 13 where Detroit only rushed three). Hurts saw a lot of that drop eight in the Big 12 and usually carved it up.

Earlier in the game, before the Birds started blowing out the Lions, I made a stupid graphic of his passing chart and heat map:

No turnovers for Hurts. He managed the blowout well and moved the sticks with his feet, but did you come out of this with more confidence in him than last week, or the week prior? A rhetorical question.

2) a more balanced rolling of the Blount

The Eagles ran the ball 46 times in this game. 37 of those carries went to running backs, split almost equally between Boston Scott (12), Jordan Howard (12), and Kenneth Gainwell (13), who was heavily active during garbage time.

It was a continuation of what we saw in Las Vegas, thankfully, even after Miles Sanders was placed on IR. The Birds ran the ball from under center. They ran it out of the shotgun. They ran outside zone and there was even a speed option coming out of the pistol.

Jeffrey Lurie, who reportedly wants the Eagles to throw the ball, could not have been happy with all of the running:

The result is a more balanced offense. Linemen being able to run block instead of stepping back into pass protection for 70% of the game. And when you bring a downhill, physical element to the game, you set a tone that can unsettle opposing defenses. Hopefully Sirianni has turned a corner here in run/pass balance, because it had great results on Sunday.

3) a Jordan Howard take

Going back a year or so, there were not a lot of people on the “keep Jordan Howard and give him the ball” train. I know we’ve tried to block out the 2019 season, but here’s a tweet I dug up that’s worth sharing again:

That was the shoulder/stinger/whatever he ended up suffering in that Chicago game. No coincidence though, that when Doug Pederson actually committed to running the ball about midway through that season, the offense opened up a bit and looked much more balanced and physical. It took a lot of pressure off Carson Wentz’s shoulders. Howard was still young, and had some excellent seasons in Chicago, and it seemed funky to give up on him so quickly. He’s still a guy who can get downhill, break contact, give you some oomph, and add a dimension that’s been sorely lacking this year.

No, he’s not a pass catcher. And he’s not a Pro Bowler in pass protection, but every team can benefit from having a no-nonsense, between-the-tackles runner.

I’m on the Jordan Howard train. GROUND AND POUND baby.

4) a different defense

The Lions successfully made the Eagles look like some combination of the 1985 Chicago Bears and 2000 Baltimore Ravens. Josh Sweat ran a guy over for a sack. Milton Williams got in there. Hassan Ridgeway. Avonte Maddox punched a ball out.

It was more aggressive in general from Jonathan Gannon, who mixed in some rare blitzes and didn’t sit in the two-deep safety look as frequently as we’d seen over the first seven games. The Birds also sat Eric Wilson as a healthy scratch, gave Davion Taylor and T.J. Edwards a bunch of snaps, and shuffled the deck against a crappy team.

The Birds sacked Goff six times. They logged seven tackles for loss. They finished with 12 QB hits and got a defensive score. You can sit here and say “yeah well Detroit blows,” and they do, but this is the blueprint for what the Eagles need to do and should have been doing this entire time. Hopefully this signals a change in approach for Gannon with the Chargers coming to town.

5) Jared Goff

Still can’t believe he played in a Super Bowl.

Look at this:

Booooo! Good volume there from a half-empty stadium.

6) Mistakes and breaks

For once, the other team compiled the longer list:

Mistakes:

  • DeVonta Smith dropping the first pass of the game.
  • Steven Nelson defensive holding before halftime.

Breaks: 

  • Dan Campbell punting in Eagles territory on the opening drive.
  • Lions missing a field goal.
  • Detroit illegal formation wiping out a big passing play.
  • Campbell deciding to go for it on 4th down with 13 seconds remaining in the 1st half.
  • Lions 12 men on the field penalty.
  • Goff throwing out of play on 4th and 11
  • Detroit fumble for Eagles scoop and score (Avonte Maddox with ANOTHER great play)
  • Lions with a LEVERAGE penalty to negate a defensive stop

They were terrible. If the Lions were a fertilizer, they’d be “Coop Poo All Purpose Plant and Lawn Food,” with slow release Nitrogen:

7) Ancillary wins and losses

All good things:

  • won time of possession 35:00 to 25:00
  • +1 turnover margin
  • 5-10 on third down (50%)
  • 0-0 on fourth down
  • held Lions to 5-14 on third down (35.7%)
  • lost 0 yards on 0 sacks
  • 4-5 success rate in the red zone
  • 2 penalties for 15 yards
  • 27 first downs, 15 for Detroit
  • ran 62 total plays, Detroit 58

Nice job playing a clean game, cutting out the penalties, and controlling the clock. The Birds are still 30th in the league in time of possession, but this was a step forward.

8) Nick’s best call?

They had some success on the second drive just trying to get the ball into skill player hands. Dallas Goedert on the inside screen. Jalen Reagor on the two end around plays, and then the underhanded Dana Holgorsen toss. Those types of plays can sometimes be gimmicky, but they got decent yardage on them in this game. They even showed a pistol look on the goal line before coming back on third down and just letting Boston Scott run it in.

It was a very Tavon Austin-esque use of Reagor on that drive. Get the ball in his hands, however you can do it. Unfortunately:

Second time in two weeks they’ve lost a guy to an ankle injury as he tries to make a quick cut. Miles Sanders last week, Reagor this week.

But credit to Sirianni for running the ball and mixing it up offensively. He’s showed some flashes this year and needs to keep being creative and consistent with his play calling.

9) Nick’s worst call?

I honestly could not think of one. I know they were winning big and just killing clock in the end, but I would have liked to see Gardner Minshew throw the ball a bit, just to see what he’s got. He played most of the fourth quarter and only passed the ball twice.

10) Excellence in broadcasting

Unfortunately, when you stink, you get the D-list broadcasting pair, hence a second straight week of Kenny Albert and Jonathan Vilma. We did get Megan Olivi on the sidelines, which was nice to see. She does a great job with the UFC.

Is it just me, or did they mention Chris Spielman four times? It’s really cool that he got into the Lions Hall of Fame, or whatever it’s called, but they showed that shot multiple times in the first half and I thought I was tripping.

Thankfully, because the Eagles were steamrolling the Lions, we didn’t have to hear Vilma say too much dumb shit. Last week he was just making things up. I don’t think he does any kind of prep or watches any kind of tape, and that’s okay if you’re leaning on your NFL expertise as a former player. For whatever reason, it doesn’t come out from him the same way it does from a guy like Greg Olsen or Tony Romo.

Anyway, big win for the Birds. We’re back baby. Water and fertilize every day: