La Salle lost a close one to George Washington the other night, and there was this:

Look at Johnny High Standards over here on Tinder. Calculated, diligent, and doing his homework for everyone on the roster. Maybe AshIey Howard can get him on the coaching staff, because the scouting reports must be lacking based on their conference record of 1-8.

Now, I know we didn’t get a great look at either woman, but from what I saw those two were more than qualified for a right swipe. Though our first contender did go bikini, bikini, bikini, bikini. Four straight bikini shots is a high maintenance red flag. None of them were selfies either. Guess who will be on the other side of every picture, but never in them. Exactly right: You. Our next contender was the complete opposite. She looks like she’d whip up a mean lasagna. Maybe she had kids and it spooked our guy, but by the looks of it he’s in his late-40s/early-50s. Beggars can’t be choosers at this stage in life, man. In the Washington D.C. area your farm system breaks down into three private sectors: career-driven attorneys, divorcees of attorneys, and the occasional escort (who’s probably been with an attorney). If you want more variety you’re going to have to extend that radius to Alexandria or Bethesda if you want to settle down with a nice suburban lass. 

I do appreciate this guy though for being efficient with his time. Would you want to watch La Salle vs. GW battle it out for the A-10 cellar? Didn’t think so. The less the game is in the hands of the replay guy, the better. Let’s start holding these college basketball refs to a higher standard so our replay guys don’t have to go home, sit on their couch and watch Sportscenter highlights with a pint of Half Baked every night.