They said it couldn’t be done! The haters thought we’d be on top forever! Turns out it only took one calendar year for the Falcons to take over the top spot on the dead cap list. BY 7 MILLION DOLLARS:

The Falcons completely obliterated the record. Good to see billionaires paying for their mistakes to go away in public for a change. And let’s be honest, someone is beating this next year. Will it be Kirk Cousins at $48+ million? Aaron Rodgers and Green Bay are constantly teetering on the brink of catastrophe. The Packers eating some of that $99 million in dead money next year wouldn’t shock me. All I know is you could sit me down and explain the salary cap to me like I’m five years old and I still won’t understand it. I just keep saying, “The salary cap isn’t real.” Because it’s not. How could the Saints be $75 million over the cap and still be in the running for Deshaun Watson? I guess, the same way the Falcons can eat Matty Ice’s dead cap and actually save themselves $9 million:

I wonder if the Eagles kicked the tires and made a call to the Falcons. A third rounder is too rich for my blood when I still need to evaluate Jalen Hurts with weapons and another season. Matt Ryan at 37 doesn’t exactly get me strapping the Eagles flags to the car windows.

Also, can anyone use the Jaws of Life to pry this guy’s mouth off of Chris Ballard’s nuts? –

via Giphy

Derek Barnett has more patience listening to the snap count on 3rd and 3 than this guy. Ballard just got his lunch money taken by Howie Roseman. The Colts will now be starting their 5th QB in five years. He drafted two edge rushers last year and still had to trade for Yannick Ngakoue. We love to drag Les Snead, but NFL Twitter loves themselves some Chris Ballard.