A truck carrying seven tons of hot dog filler lost control out in Pittsburgh last week. Conveniently, this happened a day after I got the government involved in the Phillies Dollar Dog Night story. 

Per Mitchell Willets at the Miami Herald:

More than 7 tons of hot dog filler recently busted out of a crashed big rig and oozed across an interstate in Pennsylvania, according to first responders. The 18-wheeler was traveling along Interstate 70 “at a high rate of speed” when the driver lost control and swerved off the road, where it was “impaled by several trees,” a May 20 Pennsylvania State Police report said. The sudden, violent stop caused the truck’s precious cargo to “catapult onto the roadway,” the report said.

Upon further investigation, state police learned that the brakes on the big rig were “completely inoperable,” according to the report. Citations have been filed against the driver.

This could be John Middleton’s doing. You’re telling me a truck carrying seven tons of hot dog filler mysteriously had its breaks cut out, moments after I held the Phillies’ feet to the fire? Do the Phillies think I’m an idiot? We’re talking about John Middleton here. A guy who built a billion dollar cigar empire and dug up dirt on his own sister so he didn’t have to pay her her cut of the business when it sold. You don’t think he has “fixers” on his staff willing to do anything he asks?  Like cut break lines to a tractor trailer. If anything, the Phillies should know us fans are a resilient bunch. We’ve waited 11 years for the team to sniff the playoffs. We can wait a couple more weeks for a Dollar Dog Night.