The Flyers are still paying Ilya Bryzgalov $1.63 million per year until the year 2027. Ever wonder what $51 million and two years of work gets you in New Jersey? –

 

Photos via Zillow.com/Bright MLS

This is the most Russian house I’ve ever seen. There’s seven tons of stone in the living room, a giant chimney, and more worn-out brown leather than you see on the beaches of the Jersey shore. If you told me this was a nice vacation home outside of St. Petersburg I’d believe you. But not a $4 million dollar house near Philadelphia. If there’s not Soviet-era music playing throughout the house as you’re taking a tour, I’d be shocked.

Am I wrong to think Bryz is going to have a hard time selling this? Just look at the listing:

“This 5 bedroom, 7 bath custom designed home is distinctive and remarkably spacious. The heart of the home is located among the living room and kitchen areas that feature soaring ceiling heights, gleaming wood flooring crafted from old barn wood, a circular gas fireplace, gorgeous cherry/Siberian oak and porcelain slate flooring, detailed iron work, a wall of oversized grand windows, skylights, artistic lighting, and a solarium off the kitchen. The master bedroom features cathedral ceiling, large soaking tub, two walk in closets with custom shelving and private deck. Enjoy the rear covered breezeway overlooking your own secret garden with ponds and waterfalls as well as your own resistance pool.”

Siberian oak. Cathedral ceiling. Detailed iron. Nobody has described iron as “detailed” since Rasputin. Bryz better hope Ivan Provorov is in the market for a new place.

My favorite part of the entire house is that in one of the pictures there is a random Miami Hurricanes banner hanging on the door. Bryz loves himself some Ken Dorsey. This guy is just full of surprises: