The Phillies, under the cover of darkness and with little fanfare, scheduled another Dollar Dog Night for September 21st against the Blue Jays:


First things first –

In my excitement, I forgot buns. I went to three different stores for a pack of hot dogs and by the time I got to the third I just wanted to get home and film the bit. I also ran out of ketchup. I also don’t know how I got so dirty under my collar. And if we could just pretend like the fly didn’t end up on my head midway through the video we can act like it never happened. Start to finish this was an absolute shit show. I promise to be better come 9/21.

The lack of hot dogs in my area tells me one thing: The people of Philadelphia need more places that sell hot dogs. You can’t get a good dog anywhere in the city. In New York you’ll see 40 stands over two blocks. Chicago has a dog place on every corner. You know what there wasn’t a lack of in stores? Beyond Meat. Nobody wants that shit. We need to mass produce more dogs, plus there’s enough fake meat in them. I’ll bring this issue up to Senator Casey when we meet to throw out the first pitch in September.

P.S. If you’re mad you’ll already be back at State College by September 21st, you should’ve studied harder and gotten into Temple. But if you’re really itching for dogs then Sports and Social at the Live! Casino & Hotel Philadelphia down by the stadiums is doing a dollar dog promotion during Phillies home games with all proceeds going to charity: